GREEN PIECE

He pee'd on my cat!?

2009-01-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

The year started off on a great note when I was invited to do a commentary track for the upcoming re-release of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER which I recorded on Friday, January 2nd. This was cool on so many levels, mainly being that FRIDAY IV is my favorite film of the series (along with PART II)... but it was even more special because another genre director whom I greatly admire (and a guy who also happens to be one of my best friends) JOE LYNCH was also invited to participate and the two of us recorded the commentary track together.

If you're like me, you're probably thinking "Um... what exactly did YOU have to do with the making of FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART IV"?" And the answer is... absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact, I was nine when that film came out. But as we've started to see with many classic film re-issues, it's become a fun addition to DVD packages when other filmmakers (who are also fans of the film) are asked to do a commentary discussing the movie from an outside perspective. Both Lynch and I are directors who wear our inspirations and love for the 80's slasher sub-genre on our sleeves- so the producers felt like it would make for a cool addition. Needless to say, the session was a BLAST and it was a tremendous honor to get to be a part of the FRIDAY legacy.

Earlier in 2008 I took part in the ultimate FRIDAY THE 13TH documentary ("HIS NAME WAS JASON") which will be airing on Starz in February followed by the DVD release. While I haven't seen the finished film at the time of this blog, I am told that it turned out great and that fans of the FRIDAY films will have an overload of geek-tastic stuff to feast on when it comes out.

I'm told that I have my very own special feature about the "rat piss" scene from PART II... which is a great segue into the next part of my weekend and my next story.

The very next day I had to take our cats to the vet. Nothing serious, just the annual check-up and vaccine sorta stuff. For the very few on here who knew me back when I was still doing stand-up comedy, I used to do a bit on my vet. He's a 6 foot tall black man with the deepest voice you've ever heard and a lazy eye that is so lazy that you almost have to nudge the person next to you and say out loud "Now that right there is a wicked lazy eye." Some people have lazy eyes where one is looking at you and one is looking at the trash barrels behind the building in the parking lot. But this guy's got one eye focused on you and the other one starring back into his childhood. It's both fascinating and scary when he comes towards the cats with a needle in his hand. At one point he walked in holding some paperwork and he said "I see these cats have come here today to be euthanized." But once the nurse turned the page over he corrected himself... "I mean, neutered." Yes, it's a gamble with my pet's lives whenever they go to see my vet, but he's the same vet who's office they were born in and I'm a guy who doesn't like change.

Anyway, I don't want to bore you with all of the details about our cats- so here's the gist: I adopted Tyler and Perry when they were just 3 weeks old. Here's a picture that was taken on the DAY I first met them...

Now, let me make one thing clear. I am a DOG person. I don't know how I ever got into cats, but it all started back in 1997 when a cat with feline Down's Syndrome named W. Axl Rose came into my life and sort of changed it forever. That's a whole nother story for another day, but before you call me names for having cats- just know that I'd rather have dogs. In fact, once my lifestyle settles down a bit more and I'm at home more often, I plan on drowning my cats in the pool and replacing them with dogs. And yes, I know I look gay as hell in the above picture but come on. I had two little kittens crawling on me. You try and look straight.

And I must point out that the cats are named after Steven Tyler and Joe Perry- not the guy who makes those "Madea" movies. At one point, a good friend of mine (Karen Whitman) met Steven Tyler and Joe Perry and had them autograph a photo of the cats which is hanging in a frame in my office. Pretty f'n cool if I do say so myself.

When Rileah and I moved in together almost 5 years ago, her cat Chewbacca moved in along with her, thus making us a full-on cat household. Thankfully all of the cats get along for the most part. But over the past few months, Chewy has developed a new love for pissing outside of the litterbox, just outside of the guest bathroom, on the carpet. We don't know why he does it and even worse, all of my efforts to stop this disgusting habit have been futile. Chewy and I now have a relationship on par with Mr. Parker and the Bumpus' dogs from A CHRISTMAS STORY. In fact, last week I hired a Vietnam vet to set up punji sticks all FIRST BLOOD style so that I can nail Chewbacca to the fucking wall once and for all and protect my already worthless carpet.

"I'm an asshole. I pee on stuff."

The moral of the story is that Chewbacca is on my shit list and Perry is a SAINT. In fact, I would dare say that Perry is possibly the most perfect cat in the world. Aside from her issues with Paul Stanley (I can't explain it, but she constantly goes after and tears apart my Paul Stanley action figure... and ONLY Paul Stanley, never any of the other KISS members) Perry does nothing wrong. Yet the other two cats beat on her whenever they play and she almost always ends up with the shit end of the stick.

Poor Perry.

So we're at the vet and the waiting room is a bit crowded. It's a Saturday so what can you do, right? We waited for well over an hour before Johnny Eyes was ready for us. And in the waiting room we met a bunch of other animals. The first was a Pitt Bull named Ponchas Pilot or something crazy like that. This dog LOVED the vet. I've never seen an animal so stupid in my life. He literally stood there with his eyes glued to the doorway, and every time Johnny Eyes walked past- the dog would get so excited he would pee. I shit you not. A dog that LOVED going to the vet. Unreal.

But then there was Jack. Jack was a white haired terrier and he was a douchebag of a dog. Not only did he have white hair- but it was the type of hair that was all grungy and dirty on the edges. In fact, parts of it looked PINK! Jack was a barker. Like it wasn't bad enough standing in a cramped waiting room with three stressed out cats and a vet-loving Pitt Bull... now we had to deal with Jack the asshole barker. And what did Jack's Mom do during all of this? Do you think she would have the decency to at least TRY and stop Jack from barking? Maybe even offer a quiet "Shhh"? No. She did nothing. She just sat there with her shit-eating nasty haired terrier barking up a storm.

Thankfully, Jack was next up and we got about 15 minutes of peace and quiet while Ponchas Pilot paced like a 12 year old whore backstage at a Poison concert awaiting his turn with the rock star and my three cats slowly shed every last hair on their bodies and prayed for a quick death.

Jack finished up and his shitty owner walked him over to the front desk to settle her bill. Just like her lack of interest in his annoying barking for an hour straight, she had no interest in watching where he was going or what he was up to while she signed her credit card receipt. And that's when I saw Jack make his way over to my cat carriers.

The motherfucker pissed on Perry.

He just walked right over, lifted his leg, and urinated on my cat. On sweet little Perry! I mean, if it had been Chewy I would have given Jack a treat. If it had been Chewy, it would have been karma at it's finest. But noooooo. Perry, the perfect cat who does nothing wrong to anyone except Paul Stanley... she got pissed on. And what did Jack's owner say as I quickly picked up Perry to pull her away to safety?

"Sorry 'bout that."

Sorry 'bout that? You fucking asshole. Hopefully Jack ate some bad milk bones when he got home, projected liquid shit all over that woman's face and then dropped dead. Pee on Perry? Why I oughta...!

But the story doesn't end there. The cats all went in to see Johnny Eyes, get their shots, have their privates violated, get manhandled, and then be placed back in their respective carriers. But not Perry. No, apparently it was deemed that Perry had plaque and that she needed to spend the night at the hospital in order to have her teeth cleaned properly. So the other two cats got sent home scott free... and poor Perry got pee'd on and then put under sedation to have her teeth cleaned. Again, had it been Chewy- I would have pointed and laughed. But no... Perry got shafted yet again. If any of you reading this have cats and if you've ever had their teeth cleaned, you know it's a horrible process. The anesthesia, the ointment in their eyes, the week of medicine that follows... it is miserable on them.

So Perry came home today. She can't quite open her eyes all the way yet and she looks like she got run over by a truck... but she's home and very happy to be here.

And thus ends my first weekend of the New Year. I'd tell you all about my New Year's Eve exploits, but unfortunately I have to go clean piss off of my carpets. Excuse me.

Happy New Year-
Adam

2008 Wrap-Up... And 2009 Preview!

2008-12-31T14:37:00.001-08:00

What a year! As promised, here is a look back and full-on wrap up of what was quite possibly the best year of my life so far. Of course, all of the blogs are still listed below this one, so for those of you who may have missed the specifics of such highlights as "AIDS guy", "the dead children in Regina", or "the $20 Comic-Con tip"...feel free to scroll down through the year and find the stories in their entirety. In an effort to keep this as short as possible, I'm gonna try and limit it to just a few of the Greatest Hits.

2008 started with a huge bang and the theatrical release of SPIRAL. This meant doing loads and loads of press with my buddies Joel David Moore, Zachary Levi, Amber Tamblyn, and Jeremy Boring. As repetitive and tiresome as promoting a film can be (you literally sit in a room and answer the same questions to different people for hours and hours and hours) when you enjoy the company you are with it can be one of the highlights of the movie making process. Below is an appearance that Joel and I did on FOX NEWS just before the film's DVD release...

I think my favorite part of doing that interview was the amount of shit I took from friends and fans for attempting to dress "nicely". My lack of giving a shit when it comes to dressing up for premieres and appearances is more appreciated than I thought, and the sheer fact that (for this FOX interview) I threw on a dress shirt (i.e., a shirt that DIDN'T have a band/movie logo and/or tour dates on the back of it) earned me a ton of letters and phone calls from people making sure I knew how awkward I looked in "my Dad's clothes". FYI, I am not man enough to fit in my Dad's clothes. This was an old shirt with a huge pen stain on the sleeve that an ex-roommate of mine had left behind 8 years ago. So suck it, you dicks!

Anyway, the release of SPIRAL was a huge way to begin 2008. While the film is considered an "arthouse drama" and lots of my fans who were expecting another HATCHET were confused by it's nature- the film succeeded in breaking me out of the 'splatter film' pigeon-hole I was facing with the enormous success of HATCHET in 2007. In fact, most of the new projects that I set up this year were based on the incredible reactions to SPIRAL. So while certain fans were let down to see me do something dramatic and completely different from HATCHET... I'm getting to spread my wings in all of the directions I want to go in now as opposed to some of my peers who are "lifers" in the horror genre against their true wishes. Keep in mind, SPIRAL was pretty much made simultaneously with HATCHET. I sort of ran myself into the ground trying to focus on both at the same time, but it was well worth the pain. For the moment at least, I can continue to do my work in horror, but I have proven that I can also do more outside of the genre. Funny thing is though, all of the stores carrying SPIRAL put it in the "Horror" section- so go figure. If you haven't seen it yet, you are pretty much a rotten person. I suggest going to your local Best Buy or logging on to Amazon.com and picking it up right now. I'm damn proud of that film.

In March I turned 33 years old, saw Ministry for what I hope to be the last time (every time I go, I come home with injuries that take weeks to heal) and then I headed North up to Regina Canada for the production of GRACE. If you have yet to read any of the blogs about my travels up to Regina- please, please do. I think that Regina made for some of my best stories of the year. My part on GRACE was that of Producer. Paul Solet (a name you are all about to become very familiar with) wrote and directed the film which my company (ArieScope Pictures) produced. After doing what it took to get the film financed and moving forward, my job on set was essentially just overseeing the process, problem solving, and being creative support to Paul when he asked for it. Of course my ass was on the line that the movie came in on budget and that it actually turned out good... but we pulled it off. Here's an example of me working hard on set...

Not directing left me with time to think around the hours I spent on set. See, when you are directing- it is all consuming. For months leading up to a project and especially when you are on set, you can barely remember to feed yourself. But as a Producer, I actually found myself able to go home at night and get more work done on my other projects. GRACE took us into May and when I returned I not only had a great film in the can, but a new screenplay called FROZEN. More on that later.

Here's a picture of Zoran Popovic (GRACE's D.P.), Paul Solet, and myself on the last night of GRACE. I'm not sure exactly how cold it was, but I am pretty sure that it was the coldest I had ever been up until that point. Thankfully, wardrobe had these giant moo-moos to throw on us. And even more thankfully, they were stylish. We kind of finished the shoot dressed as transexual homeless elderly women... but the film was in the can and we were on our way home to Hollywood.

I came home right in time for summer movie season to kick off. While those who read my blog know that I do not like to review or critique other people's films, I will say that this was one of the best summers for movies that I can remember since the 80's. Sure, there were a few objectionable and debatable films, but overall- wow. The highlight for me actually wasn't even one of the new releases, but a re-release one-night-only screening of E.T.

Oddly enough, this was actually the SECOND time I saw E.T. in the theater in 2008. I had been invited to a screening at the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences early on in February. The Academy screening was a pristine print from the original release and the summer screening was one of the 20th Anniversary prints. Now I know there are folks out there who are all up in arms about the CG changes that Spielberg made to the 20th anniversary version and they like to be overdramatic and say the changes RUINED the movie. Really? So you're saying that all that was good about the original film was the fact that a few of the police officers held guns in their hands- but now with the officers holding walkie talkies that the film no longer works? Shut up and eat a dick you whiny bitches. E.T. is so flawless that even if Spielberg edited clown porn into the third reel- it would still hold up. If you don't like the additions put in for the 20th anniversary release, then throw in your copy of the original version and shut-up. Don't own a copy of the original version, you say? Hmm. Well then you aren't a fan of the film anyway and should go back to eating that dick I told you about earlier.

Anyway- seeing E.T. in the theater is sort of like my reset button and I never miss a chance to have that experience. It is heads and tails my favorite film of all time and watching that in a theater filled with other E.T. believers and children who are experiencing the magic in reverence for the first time... there's just nothing like it. Rileah laughs at me through the whole thing as I literally cry from frame one until the end of the credits... but I don't care. There's so few things that can bring you back to your childhood innocence and for me, E.T. is that one thing. Anyway, enough about E.T. It was a major highlight of my summer. And yes, I wore my red "Elliot" sweatshirt to the screening. Want to fight about it?

2008 also found me in a meeting with D.C. Films / Warner Brothers where we discussed a slate of animated Justice League style films that they are doing for 2011. I pitched them a take that I had on AQUAMAN and low and behold, they bought it in the room. So throughout the summer I was hard at work writing AQUAMAN: KING OF ATLANTIS. Who even knows what the story will be like by the time the movie is finished (animation takes forever and these types of films are notorious for bringing on writer after writer to do polishes and re-drafts) but my take on AQUAMAN re-introduces him as a bad-ass and my story-line is something along the lines of CLASH OF THE TITANS and CLOVERFIELD. The process has been long and hard and I just turned in a second draft last week. My fingers are crossed and I am hoping for the best with the project as I think AQUAMAN is a very misunderstood and underused character in the D.C. Universe. If I could be the guy that helped bring him back to the forefront- awesome. But only time will tell where this all goes.

In early summer, I also wrote and directed a project that centers around two very beautiful and scantily clothed girls having a lightsaber battle. I've posted pictures and written about this project in various blogs, however the visual effects have taken about half a year longer than we anticipated. The good news is that I am told that the FX are just about ready and it looks good that the project will be ready to show early next year.

For quite some time, you've all been hearing about my romantic comedy GOD ONLY KNOWS. I've had no shame in saying that it is my most favorite of all of my projects and that I truly think it is the best script that I have ever written. GOK has been responsible for getting me a lot of the TV work and comedy projects I have done over the years as it has always been the writing sample that my reps show to studios and networks. The curse of the movie has been that it is literally taking forever to get started. There have been instances where the film was set-up, cast, and in pre-production... only to have some unforeseen crazy thing happen that puts it on hold. But you know how they say "everything happens for a reason"? Well- this year the project was taken under the wing of Chris Columbus' 1492 Films who are now producing it with my company, ArieScope Pictures. While I never publicly announce cast until contracts are signed in blood... the cast we already have attached is absolutely amazing and A-list. However, this year has seen such financial hardships for the industry between the strikes, threats of strikes, and crumbling economy that the movie is once again on pause. But looking at where it has come over the past ten years (yes, you read correctly, it's been TEN YEARS that I have been working on this one) the project is on the cusp of becoming something even more powerful than Darth Vader and the Emperor ever imagined. All signs point to a 2009 production and my contract is said and done... but once I'm on set shooting, I'll believe it. Fingers and toes are crossed to see that script finally come to fruition.

July brought a trip back to Cape Cod to see my family and rejuvenate a bit, a trip to Vegas to be alone with Rileah in style, and then the production of THE ROAD TO FRIGHTFEST...

UK FRIGHT FEST is my favorite of all of the genre film festivals in the world. As someone who has been to all of them, I can say that with conviction. So when Joe Lynch and I were invited back this year (even though we had no films ready to screen there) we decided to return to London baring gifts. Over the summer we shot 5 promos to be played nightly during the run of the festival. You can read the detailed blogs to watch them all and learn all about it, but they were a hit. Below is my favorite of the bunch. It is the one that screened on the final night of the festival. It plays better and makes more sense if you've seen the previous four promos, but I like this one the best because we were able to capture the live sound of the Fright Fest audience watching the promo as it played.

London was a TERRIFIC time as always, and both Joe and I are eagerly awaiting 2009's TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Fright Fest. While we hope to once again return with surprises... looking at both of our slates for the upcoming year, it is going to be a challenge finding the time. We'll see. I returned from London just in time to see John Williams conduct at the Hollywood Bowl. The symphony played "Flying" from E.T. I cried.

The summer ended with a huge surprise for me. FOX was preparing the Blu-Ray release of the PLANET OF THE APES films for the 40th anniversary and they needed high resolution images of the original apes for their packaging. My friends at MAKE-UP & MONSTERS STUDIOS were on the job of pulling the original molds and wardrobe out of storage and finding new folks to dress up for the photo shoot. Knowing that I was a fan and roughly the same size as Maurice Evans (Dr. Zaius) I was asked to step into the costume and last month, the box set hit shelves everywhere with ME as Dr. Zaius.

It's tough to contain my geek-excitement over something like this, but to forever be a part of Ape history is really mind blowing. Standing there that day dressed in the same costume that Mr. Evans wore long before I was born... I was floored. I mean, what is cooler than that? It was yet another moment this year when I was fully aware of just how lucky I am to get to do what I do.

Halloween season was kicked off with the release of the HORROR BOOK OF LISTS in which my list of the "The Top 10 Horror Actresses Who Should Have Gotten Naked But Didn't" was published. The signing in Burbank was a huge success and the book has been the source of much laughter for horror fans on their toilets across the world.

That very same weekend, I was driving to a Love/Hate concert and found myself behind a car with a "Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed" bumper sticker. After verbally tearing the driver to shreds in my own car (I mean, who would actually ruin their car with THAT stupid bumper sticker?) I found myself wondering just how one might be able to prove that Humpty Dumpty was indeed pushed. Seriously though, all we know from the story is that all of the kings horses and all of the kings men couldn't put him back together again. While that is unfortunate, there is nothing in there that even alludes to foul play. It was at that point in my internal conversation that I realized that I was a bigger dork than the driver in front of me. And FAIRY TALE POLICE was born...

XBOX LIVE was putting together a project called "Horror Meets Comedy" in which they were reaching out to notable genre directors to come up with original short web-pilots for the XBOX gaming consoles. It was literally the SAME weekend that I came up with this concept, that James Gunn asked me if I'd like to participate. So my usual group of friends and conspirators got together over the Fall and shot the pilot for FAIRY TALE POLICE. Though you need to have an XBOX to watch the actual show, below is the trailer for it.

I am told that in the coming weeks, the pilot will be made available everywhere on-line. There are also rumors of more episodes of FAIRY TALE POLICE being ordered for 2009, but we'll worry about that when it happens. Here's a candid photo of everyone looking at the wrong camera...

Halloween 2008 was one of the best in my 33 years of Halloween. The decorations around the house were exceptionally cool this year and the month of screenings, parties, theme parks, dinners, parades, and events were a whirlwind of 'awesome'.

Of course, no Halloween would be complete without my annual Halloween short film. This year's short (THE TiVO) broke all kinds of records and was downloaded 100,000 times in it's first week of release. It was even honored as the Number 1 video on Youtube at one point during that first week of release. For those that haven't seen it yet...

November brought loads of good news. It started with the announcement of my next film FROZEN (remember that script I wrote during production of GRACE?) which pre-sold like gangbusters at AFM without even having shot a frame yet. I'm making the film with Peter Block's new company "A Bigger Boat" and it starts shooting in just a few weeks up in the snowy mountains of Utah. Most of you probably know that Peter Block is the producer who made Lionsgate what it used to be for the genre. Peter is the guy that brought you movies like SAW and THE DESCENT and he not only has an eye for what the fans want, but he knows how to properly release and distribute the stuff. So for FROZEN to be his flagship production... it's really an amazing opportunity.

November also brought the good news that GRACE had been officially selected to world premiere at Sundance in January. We honestly could not ask for a better or more prestigious launching pad for the birth of GRACE. The Sundance guide describes the film as:

"Eight months pregnant, and preoccupied with both a natural childbirth and a pure-body lifestyle, Madeline Matheson, played with merciless compassion by Jordan Ladd, deflects her demanding mother-in-law's insistent pressure for standard hospital treatment, instead opting for the peaceful companionship of a trusted midwife. Though reluctantly compliant, her husband remains supportive of her choices until a sudden tragic accident leaves her unborn baby lifeless inside of her. Madeline remains determined to carry the stillborn baby to term, where she miraculously wills the delivered corpse into life. But it is not too long before the increasingly isolated mother realizes that something is not right with baby Grace, and she must make horrible sacrifices to keep her living.In his feature debut, writer/director Paul Solet assuredly approaches the medium, displaying a cocksure confidence in his construction of this modern horror fable. He relies upon a precise and slow-building technical elegance, supplemented by fearless performances and the ever-elusive gift of a genuinely frightening story, to violate the sanctity of a mother's love and create true horror. Seething with a kind of sophisticated terror uncommon for its genre, Grace effortlessly uncoils an atmosphere of immense discomfort and subtle intensity, while quietly creeping into the spine and slicing into our most primal fears."

We're all honored and THRILLED to be premiering GRACE at the world's greatest film festival on Friday January 16th. Kind of weird that FROZEN was written during GRACE, and that GRACE is premiering 100 feet away from where FROZEN is shooting...so I get to actually be at the premiere. I wish I had poster art or a trailer to share with you for GRACE, but that is all still a few weeks away. You may have seen some amateur looking poster art or trailers floating around the internet curtsey of the film's foreign sales company and foreign financiers but none of that stuff is real, official, or endorsed by us so pay it no mind. The real stuff is on it's way.

November finished with a huge bang when Nickelodeon bought a new live action kid's show that I developed with Jack Black's company ("Electric Dynamite") about a boy and his talking alien dog called THE ADVENTURES OF FINN & WOOF. I can't spill any details on that one yet as the contracts were literally just signed hours ago... but I'll be hard at work writing that project as the New Year rings in. To say that I'm excited to be working on a children's show with Jack Black- especially when it is a subject matter that I so deeply believe in and love- would be a massive understatement. TV is a tricky medium because it is very rare that you get to work on projects that you truly, truly love. Many writers wind up working on projects that fit what the network's needs are or staff writing on shows that they would never personally even watch. So FINN & WOOF is a huge opportunity for me. I'm surrounded by awesome people (Jack's producing partner Ben Cooley is as cool as his name sounds) and I'm FIRED UP to give this one my all.

An amazing year, huh? But the best was still yet to come.

December began with a little trip to the East Coast where I brought Rileah to see New York City at Christmas time. (She had never been to the city during the holidays and in fact, had only been there once before for HATCHET's Tribeca premiere back in '06.) While we were there, we planned on seeing both nights of Twisted Sister's Christmas show on Broadway as well as taking in all of the amazingness that NYC has to offer around the holidays.

But the trip started with what can only be described as the most perfect marriage proposal a guy and a girl could ask for. I've been getting TONS of "congratulations" emails and comments from all of you and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate all of it. However, I hope that you can all understand that there are certain aspects to my personal life that are just for me and that I simply don't want to share. So forgive me for not wanting to spill all of the details of the proposal on MySpace, but it happened in Central Park, it was perfect, and she said "yes". Juggling schedules and leaving enough time to make sure we do the wedding right, we are looking ahead to the sumer of 2010. We first met almost 8 years ago when I was working as the DJ and Rileah was the hostess at the heavy metal club "The Rainbow" on the Sunset Strip. Neither of us had a dime to our names, I was struggling to make ends meet to the point that I was stealing leftover food off of plates on the kitchen. In 2004 I made the mock trailer for HATCHET and Rileah stepped in to be in the test make-up subject for Young Victor Crowley. Through that whole process we became good friends- and now, after almost 5 years dating and living together and all of the trails and tribulations that have come with the industry we both work in and the insanity of dealing with a guy like me...it is clear above all that she is my BEST friend and this next step could not feel more right. I thank you all for respecting our privacy in all of this, and don't fret- I will certainly share any details, pictures, and stories from the process that we are comfortable sharing. Aside from our friends and family in our personal lives- the outpouring of well wishes and love my fan base has showered us with is overwhelming. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The whole engagement process was perfect and it was of course very cool to use Twisted Sister shows as the guise to justify the trip. Once again, a life changing event where my friend Dee Snider was around for it. (For those that don't already know the whole "Me and Dee" saga of the past 25 years...check out the special features on your HATCHET dvd.)

Here are just a few pictures from the NYC trip...

From NYC I went straight to the mountains and ski slopes of Utah to start location scouting for FROZEN. In 48 hours we visited at least 9 different mountains, rode various chair lifts, hiked around in the snow, and met with lots of wonderful people. The oddest part of this scout for me was realizing not only how difficult this film is going to be to shoot, but just how fucking SCARY it actually is. Being up there on the chairlift feeling the heights, feeling the chill, living in the elements... the story and the events that happen are realistic and scary as hell. And my crew and I are in for some "March of the Penguins" style shit in dealing with the elements. Note to self: Set next film in Maui.

Here's a picture of Will and I at 11,000 feet...

We may not look as high up as we were, but just to give you an idea... we could see for several STATES from where we were.

My favorite part of the entire scout, however, was when we visited a ranch to view some "trained" wildlife that we may be using in the film. This ranch is owned and operated by the same trainers who handled Bart The Bear who you have seen in countless films such as THE EDGE, THE BEAR, or virtually any other film that a giant Grizzly Bear acted in. (No, there is no bear in FROZEN for those of you trying to figure it out.) Bart is sadly no longer with us, but his next of kin (Bart Junior) is quickly taking Bart's place on the silver screen. At one point, the trainers invited me to meet Bart Junior and I eagerly accepted the chance. I mean, how often do you get to be THAT close to a Grizzly Bear in your life? This photo doesn't do it much justice, but it was the only photo that got snapped during the Green / Bart Junior 'Meet and Greet'.

But 2008 still wasn't entirely over yet! The year was rounded out with not one...but THREE Metallica shows in the week leading up to Christmas. These shows were quite significant for me. The first show was great because it was almost 17 years to the day that I first saw Metallica play live... and I was with two of my childhood friends that were with me at that very first show. Call me a sentimental dork, but I pay close attention to things like that. To be seeing one of my favorite bands- 17 years later and with the same guys I grew up with who were with me the first time...it's pretty cool. These shows put me over the 30 SHOW mark for the amount of times I have seen Metallica in the 20 plus years I have been listening to them. And they sound better than they ever did. I know a lot of people started to doubt them during the "St. Anger" period...but this year they put out what is clearly one of their best albums ever. Of course these shows come with a story...

Night 2: I am standing by the side of the stage with Joe Lynch waiting for the band to come on. We started talking about Christmas plans. Somehow, the fact that Rileah would have me watching LOVE ACTUALLY came up. What followed was two metal head, horror directors professing their undying love for that film. I'm not joking, Joe and I must have gone on for at least 10 minutes talking about why LOVE ACTUALLY is such a great movie and we discussed all of our favorite parts. It was around the point of Joe declaring how he gets choked up when the guy holds up the note cards in the film...when I realized that everyone around us could not only HEAR us, but that they were LISTENING...and that several of them knew who we were.

"JOE! STOP. STOP. STOP-STOP-STOP!"

But he was on a roll. I'm giving him every signal to stop, but he was on to the "boy running to tell the girl he loved her at the airport" and there was no stopping him. Finally, he realized what I realized and the two of us quickly tried to change the subject to sports, fighting dudes, and banging chicks. But it was too late. We had been outted for liking LOVE ACTUALLY...at a Metallica concert. Somewhere there is a message board on-line where a disgruntled metal head/horror fan is re-telling the story of our lameness and how let down he was to overhear what he heard. And somewhere in Los Angeles there is a group of horror fans burning their HATCHET and WRONG TURN 2 dvds. If the story wasn't so funny, I'd feel bad. But I love LOVE ACTUALLY goddamnit. There, I said it. It's a good movie and Bill Nighy owns!

And thus ends 2008. I know I left out a ton, but you have all of the previous blogs to look at if you want to catch up on what I may have missed. 2008 truly was one of the greatest years of my life, and my hopes are already soaring that 2009 will blow it away. I wrote this in a previous blog, but in a year plagued by strikes, lay offs, financial troubles, and struggle for most of the world...I am truly blessed that I not only have mustered through it all, but that I've been able to entertain and help so many people laugh off and forget about the stress. So my wish for all of you as the New Year quickly approaches in a few hours... is that you all remain healthy and that you all find happiness in the coming year. I've got so much coming your way over the next 12 months, and though I'll be busy as all hell, you will all be in my thoughts and I will do my best to deliver for you all. I may be harder to reach than usual and I may not be checking in here as often as I would like, but I'll be thinking of all of you on my adventures and endeavors.

2009 will kick off with the production of FROZEN and the festival tour for GRACE. In the coming months you'll hear all kinds of news about the other projects (FAIRY TALE POLICE, AQUAMAN, FINN & WOOF, release dates for GRACE, the release of the secret lightsaber project, etc.) so stay tuned and get excited. I leave you now with an image to address what so many of you are asking about...

Yes, it is happening. I just can't say for sure what my involvement will be yet. As you just read, I have way more than I can possibly handle on my plate. So if the powers that be can be patient, I will return at the helm. But if the ship has to set sail sooner rather than later, I may have to pass the torch. Think good thoughts, dream gory dreams, and just maybe I'll be the one behind the camera when Victor Crowley returns to kick your fucking asses.

Happy New Year! I love you all!

-Adam

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ha! Ha! Ha! FAIRY TALE POLICE LAUNCHES!

2008-12-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

Friends-

You'll have to forgive the brevity of this post, but I'm working on so many things right now that I haven't even taken a leak since early November. As you can imagine, free time to blog is hard to come by (and my bladder hurts wicked bad)- so I gotta keep this one short.

Normally, I make a Halloween short film every year as a sort of "Halloween present" to my friends and fans. Hopefully most of you got to see THE TIVO this year as it was by far the most downloaded short that my crew and I have done in 10 years of making those shorts. Right around the time we were shooting THE TIVO, I was approached to join in on XBOX's "HORROR MEETS COMEDY" project in which a handful of notable horror directors were each given the task of creating a comedy pilot for XBOX LIVE. I gladly joined in on the fun and now... just in time for Christmas... I present to you all:

My new web pilot FAIRY TALE POLICE launches this week (Wednesday December 17th) on Microsoft's XBOX LIVE. For those of you on XBOX, simply log in to the main interface, click on "Video Marketplace" and you'll find HORROR MEETS COMEDY listed under New Arrivals, Independent, or Most Popular- take your pick. It's easy enough to find. The download is FREE and it gives you the option of full HD or standard def.

For those of you who do not have an XBOX, don't fear. The pilot will be available on a number of other websites and platforms within time. While I won't know any details or facts until later on in January, this episode could very well be the first of many more. But more on that later.

F.T.P. was an absolute joy to work on and I know that I speak for everyone involved when I say that it was nothing short of a blast to make. It's these kinds of projects that remind me why I love to do what I do. Don't get me wrong, the Hollywood stuff, the feature films, the TV development, the writing, the promoting, the touring... it's all awesome and a dream come true. But when you are given the means to gather up a small group of your friends and create something completely pure with no regard for anything other than "what you want to do" - the feeling is magical. Thank you to XBOX, Safran Digital Group, and my friend James Gunn for inviting me to participate. It was an honor and a pleasure.

So check it out anytime after Wednesday night and I hope you laugh your asses off. While I have had what is easily the best year of my life so far, I know that this year has been rough for many others. In the entertainment industry we are still reeling from a strike and a crumbling economy that is destroying our means to get projects made and I know that all across the world everyone is going through their own struggles both personally and financially. Every so often I get a letter from someone that details their recent downward spiral of events- getting laid off, projects falling apart, having to move out because they are poor... and then they'll say how they threw in HATCHET and for an hour and a half- they forgot how much everything sucked and they just laughed. While some may take that kind of compliment lightly, it actually means a whole ton of a lot to me. 'Cause that's kind of what I do. Entertain. So for those of you going into the holidays bummed out about being poor this year, being depressed at the state of the world, or being saddened by any other number of things that are bringing this Christmas down... I hope that you get the chance to watch FAIRY TALE POLICE, feel like a 10 year-old again, and even if it's just for 8 short minutes- I hope that I can help you laugh. While I can't say or do anything to fix anyone's problems, if I can help you forget about them for just a few minutes- I feel pretty blessed.

I know many of you are waiting to hear more about FROZEN, HATCHET 2, and my recent personal events (holy shit, I'm someone's FIANCEE?!). A big end-of-the-year wrap-up blog is coming with all of the highlights from this year and news of what's to come next year. Soon...

-Green

HANDS UP! The Fairy Tale Police are coming!

2008-11-13T10:33:00.000-08:00

By now, most of you have heard that XBOX LIVE is about to start bringing it's 10 million or so users new original content to watch on their game consoles. As part of that endeavor, XBOX LIVE has teamed up with Safran Digital and one of my favorite filmmakers and friends James Gunn and together they are launching a series of webisodes called "Horror To Comedy". Essentially, they asked a select group of directors who are known in the horror genre, to write and direct original pilot episodes of their own web comedy series. Some of the guys included are James Wan (SAW), Marcus Nispel (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE), Lucky McKee (MAY), and of course James Gunn (SLITHER) just to name a few. I was fortunate enough to be asked, and I of course couldn't say "yes" fast enough.

My pilot is called FAIRY TALE POLICE and it will be available to watch for free on XBOX LIVE starting this Christmas Eve. Don't have an XBOX yet, you say? You don't even know the art of teabagging a noob in Halo, you say? Well- don't fear. After awhile these shorts will be available absolutely everywhere.

So what's FAIRY TALE POLICE all about? It's a COPS inspired reality show where two human police officers maintain peace and order in a land full of comical villains and cartoonish monsters. One night I was driving behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED." And while on the outside my first reaction was to start talking to myself and saying "What idiot would put THAT on their new car?" on the inside... my mind instantly went to the place where I wondered how exactly anyone thinks they could PROVE that Humpty Dumpty was pushed. I mean, in the rhyme- do you remember any witnesses listed? A police report? It's not all that clear when all of the king's horses and all of the king's men actually GOT there, only that they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

I arrived at my destination (a LOVE/HATE concert- yes!) and told my partners in crime at ArieScope Pictures what my idea was. We all agreed right then and there that we would just shoot it on our own someday. Kind of like the Halloween shorts that we do every year. But (I shit you not), the very next day James Gunn called me to see if I had any ideas for an XBOX series. "Um... as a matter of fact, I do." So I went over to see him, pitched him my idea- and 48 hours later I was green-lit. That's less than a WEEK from coming up with the idea to being green-lit to shoot. If only the major movies and TV shows could move that fast!

My two main police officers are being played by two of my very good friends, Rachael Leigh Cook and Parry Shen. Rachael and I have come dangerously close to working together on a variety of projects over the past 3 years, so it was awesome that schedules worked out and the timing clicked for this one. Forget the fact that we're friends, I've gone on the record in numerous interviews where I've said she is one of my favorite actresses and that her innocence and grace remind me of a new generation's Audrey Hepburn. The sheer fact that she's willing to come and play with us on such a fun little side project and argue with silly puppets on camera is a testament to just how awesome and down to earth she really is. And Parry Shen, as you all know, was not only one of my stars in HATCHET but the star of this year's Halloween short film "THE TiVO". He's another who I've often raved about over the years. After watching him kick his own ass on the floor while fighting that giant foam TiVO last month, I knew I had to work with him again as soon as possible. Both Parry and Rachael have big hearts and very good senses of humor- so they were the perfect actors for this project.

Rachael Leigh Cook

Parry Shen

And I don't want to ruin any surprises, but yes, both of my better halves (my plutonic life partner in film Joel David Moore and my beautiful girlfriend Rileah Vanderbilt) have roles, too.

Joel David Moore

Rileah Vanderbilt

But with only a month to wait and see it... you can wait for the details!

Tomorrow night we begin our actual shoot for FAIRY TALE POLICE. Stay tuned for more info about it over the next month. This is gonna be a HELL of a lot of fun!

-Adam

I'm about to be FROZEN!

2008-11-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

It's official, word is on the street, and I can finally talk about it! For now, here's the press release...

Much more info to come...

A BIGGER BOAT LAUNCHES FROZEN AT THE AMERICAN FILM MARKET

SANTA MONICA, CA (November 11, 2008) Peter Block's A Bigger Boat announced today that it has greenlit the chilling thriller FROZEN, written and to be directed by Adam Green (HATCHET, SPIRAL). The company will produce the picture with Green's ArieScope Pictures.

GreeneStreet Films International (GSFI) is selling the film worldwide and has already closed deals at the American Film Market with the United Kingdom's Momentum, Spain's Aurum, France's Metropolitan, the Middle East's ECS, Brazil's Playarte, Israel's United King, Scandinavia's Svensk, and Turkey's Medyavizyon.

The story revolves around three skiers who are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life or death choices that prove more dangerous than even freezing to death.

"FROZEN is the perfect first project for A Bigger Boat," said Peter Block. "A high concept thriller with a talented young filmmaker on board. HATCHET proved that Adam can direct fun horror comedy and attract an audience but this project will show his ability to create a realistic, tension filled thriller. I couldn't be more excited to work with him and his team at ArieScope."

"Anyone who has skied before knows the fear that rushes through their heart when the chairlift momentarily stops," said Adam Green. "FROZEN will build on such primal fears as 'heights' and 'freezing to death' and take them to terrifying new levels. It's an honor to be working with GSFI and Peter Block, a producer who truly gets the horror genre and who knows how to do it right."

ArieScope's Cory Neal added "To have FROZEN be the flagship production for A Bigger Boat has us excited beyond words."

"The response to Adam and FROZEN has been overwhelming," said GSFI president, Amy Beecroft. "It shows that when you have a strong concept and people who know how to deliver this particular genre, there's a marketplace. This has been a great way to launch A Bigger Boat's partnership with GreeneStreet Films International."

Principal photography is scheduled to commence early next year and casting is already underway. Green is represented by Endeavor Talent Agency and Industry Entertainment.

ABOUT PETER BLOCK/A BIGGER BOAT
A Bigger Boat runs in partnership with GreeneStreet Films and has a domestic distribution deal with Overture Films and Alliance Films. Most recently, Block completed production on the box office smash SAW V. This year he is also overseeing production on RAMBO, THE EYE, THE BANK JOB, MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, the upcoming DAYBREAKERS, and the Gold Circle true-life horror film THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT, while also serving as Co-Executive Producer of the NBC series "Fear Itself". Under Block's leadership, Lionsgate acquired or produced over 1,000 films including the box office sensations CRASH, SAW, OPEN WATER, FAHRENHEIT 9/11, as well as such art-house hits as THE COOLER, LANTANA and SECRETARY. Block spearheaded the company's foray into theatrical genre pictures with the acquisition of CABIN FEVER, HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, HARD CANDY, and HOSTEL, as well as expanding the genre's international focus with Neil Marshall's DESCENT, Peter Jackson's DEAD ALIVE, Guillermo del Toro's CRONOS, Takashi Shimizu's JU-ON: THE GRUDGE, Alex Aja's HIGH TENSION, and UNDEAD from Australia's Spierig brothers. In addition, Block was the primary production executive on the Academy nominated GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING, the Bobby Darin bio-pic BEYOND THE SEA directed and starring Kevin Spacey, NARC, Rob Zombie's DEVIL'S REJECTS, and the surprise hit CRANK.

ARIESCOPE PICTURES
ArieScope Pictures is a production company formed by writer/director Adam Green, producer Cory Neal, and director of photography Will Barratt. The company has produced the horror/comedy HATCHET, the Hitchcockian psychodrama SPIRAL, and recently wrapped production on the chilling thriller GRACE. Currently ArieScope is producing the comedy web series FAIRY TALE POLICE for Xbox Live. For more information contact www.ariescope.com.

GREENESTREET INTERNATIONAL
GreeneStreet Films International (GSFI) is the international sales company under the GreeneStreet Films banner. GSFI launched six years ago to expand GreeneStreet's domestic presence overseas through its foreign sales of GreeneStreet's titles, as well as third party acquisitions. In addition, GSFI will sell worldwide rights to films produced by Peter Block's newly launched company, A Bigger Boat. GSFI introduced A Bigger Boat's first picture, FROZEN, a suspenseful thriller written and to be directed by Adam Green (HATCHET, SPIRAL)at this year's American Film Market. Other GSFI titles include Matthew Reeves' (CLOVERFIELD) upcoming picture INVISIBLE WOMAN; and TENDERNESS (Lionsgate) directed by John Polson (SWIMFAN) with Russell Crowe, Jon Foster, Sophie Traub and Laura Dern.

"THE TiVO" - 10 years of Halloween short films!

2008-10-20T11:24:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago this month, ArieScope Pictures was born.

I had just gotten out of college and I had taken a job working on local cable commercials in the Boston area. On my first day of work, I was paired up with Will Barratt and we were sent off to Nashua, New Hampshire to shoot a commercial for a car dealership. By the time we were driving home we had hatched plans to get us out of cable advertising, break us in to Hollywood, and have us making "real movies".

And I had only known him for a few hours at that point.

That weekend we "borrowed" the cable company's equipment to shoot a short film that we could entertain friends with at an upcoming Halloween party. With a Super8 film camera and Time Warner Cable's three lights, we rounded up some friends and set out to make COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND. The premise of the short was that Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers had stalked the same group of teenagers by mistake and the whole point of it all was really just to make our friends laugh. Little did we know how many people would actually wind up seeing that short film and what it would ultimately lead to for us.

But before I go any further, here are some funny stories from the making of COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND while I am getting all nostalgic and thinking back to the beginning here…

We needed a location with lots and lots of woods, so I contacted a childhood friend's parents who lived on the edge of a forest back in my hometown of Holliston. For those of you who are HATCHET fans- it was Scott Barnes' parents. You know the line in the movie where Misty randomly checks her cell phone and says "Ew, Scott Barnes called me?" That was a shout out to this guy. Anyway, Scott's parents were kind enough to give us full reign over their property. Their one and only request before they went out for the night?

"Whatever you do… don't let Dusty the cat out of the house."

"No problem, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!"

I swear, you could still see Mr. Barnes' break lights driving away down the street… and Dusty had already gotten out of the house. For the next 3 HOURS we tried everything possible to capture this filthy creature and get it back in the house, but we had no luck. Finally, in an act of desperation, I grabbed Dusty by the tail and pulled him out of the bush he was trying to hide in.

"Got him!" I yelled.

That's when Dusty proceeded to try and scratch my eyes out. Literally. The first claw hooked the inside of my right eye socket and sliced my skin wide open. My eye was bleeding everywhere.

But hey… at least I got Dusty back in the house and we could start shooting.

"Dude… you need to disinfect your eye." Will said. Not able to find ANY rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide in the Barnes household, Will pointed out that we had a bottle of cheap Tequila on set that was being used as a prop in the film. Before I could think it through, Will was pouring TEQUILLA straight into my bleeding eye.

It hurt. It hurt BAD. But finally, we were ready to begin shooting our short film. All I needed to do was find a towel to wipe the liquor out of my eyes with. So I went back into the house and when I opened the door… I let Dusty out again.

Needless to say, we didn't get much actual shooting done that night. Other problems we had were the fact that we forgot to bring enough extension cords to get the lights in to the actual woods… so instead we had to shoot the whole movie in Mr. and Mrs. Barnes' backyard… where we proceeded to build a campfire and burn an enormous hole in the center of their lawn.

I should also point out that for some reason we loaded our camera with the wrong kind of film and the footage was completely unusable when we got it back from the lab. Luckily, we had also been rolling with Time Warner's Betacam next to our film camera as it was recording the audio for each scene. So we were able to salvage the short by using the Betacam tapes. Sure, every shot was off kilter and framed wrong as the Betacam was never meant to be shooting the actual scenes- but at least we still had a little movie we could show our friends.

In editing we realized that we needed a production company name. With my birthday being March 31st and Will's being April 2nd, we somehow came up with the name "ArieScope" as it combined "something film sounding" and "something we had in common". Yes, that's literally how we came up with the name.

10 years later, ArieScope Pictures is a real Hollywood production company producing theatrically released feature films and our own original content. And though we've grown substantially and gone on to great success… two things have remained the same after all of that time. First of all, we are still laughing even though (with us) whatever can possibly go wrong WILL always go wrong. And second of all, no matter what big projects we are working on, at this time every year we still drop everything and make a new "Halloween short film".

In honor of how we got our start, every single Halloween since 1998 we have gotten our "family" of creative artists together and made a short film in one night (OK, so we've started cheating and spreading them out over two nights because we're getting old, wanna fight about it?), with absolutely no budget, and all in the name of FUN. So last week a group of us got together and we made "The TiVO" which I'm proud to unveil for you all today.

This year's short is by far the most "out-there" one that we've done yet. With inspirations coming from The Thing, The Shining, Single White Female, and a few other classics… this entry into the "ArieScope Hallowen Short Film Catalogue" is as weird as they come. I don't know how many of you have TiVO at home or how many just rough it out with DVR, but hopefully you know enough about TiVO to understand how absolutely amazing it is for your quality of life… but how entirely creepy it can be at the same time. Regardless, I can say that I've never laughed so hard on a set as I did when we were shooting this film's climax. 10 years later… I still love what I do and I can still appreciate how lucky I am to be doing it.

If you are new to all of this, be sure and click over to the official ArieScope Pictures website (www.ariescope.com) and click the link that says "View The Short Films" to see what you've missed over the past decade. Which reminds me, some of you may have noticed that the same two people who started our website for us 10 years ago are still the same two designing and running it for us now. John and Nicole Anguish are "lifers". I guess that most everybody who gets involved with ArieScope winds up in it for life. And that must be why 10 years later, ArieScope Pictures is still alive and growing beyond anything we ever hoped for.

To EVERYONE who is a part of ArieScope, from the other folks who work here alongside me, to the extremely talented pool of cast and crew that work with us regularly, to the friends and fans all over the world that have supported our work over the years… happy birthday, happy anniversary, and most of all… HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

If someone could have told us then- while we were sanding off a girl's face with a power sander and throwing spoiled meat all over another- that we'd eventually make a living… sanding off a girl's face with a power sander and throwing spoiled meat all over another…I never would have believed them.

So without any further adieu, here's the 2008 Halloween short film..."The TiVO".

-Adam

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

2008-10-05T14:33:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's been this long since I've posted a full-on blog, but being this busy is a good thing, right? Where to begin? Where to begin?...

This is gonna be jam packed- so don't make any plans for the next hour, folks.

In a year that almost "never was" for much of Hollywood (the strikes, the economy crashing, studios and distributors drying up) I've thankfully been able to keep busier than ever, so for that I am extremely lucky and grateful. The year started with a huge bang with the ArieScope Pictures production of Paul Solet's GRACE (see previous blogs for all of those stories) which will be out later next year. During that time I wrote a brand spanking new horror script (which you'll hear more about later on in 2009) and as most of you know by now, I wrote an animated AQUAMAN movie for D.C. Comics/Warner Brothers (which you'll hear more about in a few months). As if that wasn't enough, throw in the hours and hours of development on the new films, a series of 5 shorts made exclusively for UK Fright Fest, and a full-on light saber fight with gorgeous half naked chicks...

But the year is hardly over and in many ways I'm just getting started, so I'll save the complete wrap up for a later date. As far as this mysterious "light saber fight" you've heard rumblings about... it's still in post-production as there are a lot of FX that need to be done when you are using light sabers. But the gist of it is that I like to shoot my own short films and projects for fun, even around the bigger more mainstream stuff that pays the bills. Call it a hobby, but I just love working so much that when I'm not working I find more work to do while I wait to work again. Rileah came to me one day and said she and our friend Clare Grant wanted to shoot some sort of light saber battle "just for fun". JUST FOR FUN? Because you know...there's um, ANYTHING more complex than that?! So I did what any loving boyfriend would do and I told her that if she could arrange a threesome between me, her, and Clare that I would consider writing and directing it.

Actually, that's just what I THOUGHT. Instead, I told her that if she and Clare could produce the whole thing, I would be in to do it. To be totally honest, I thought that would be the end of it- but low and behold these two took the bull by the horns and put the whole project together on their own. And as much as a threesome would have been awesome and I'm still holding out hope, there is no greater turn-on than watching the girl you love get ambitious, kick ass, and take names. But more on all of that when I can actually show everyone the project in a few weeks. Point is, I'm damn proud of these girls and I love my girlfriend to death.

But enough of that. Let's get to the funny.

In an effort not to make this the "eternal blog" I'm gonna limit my stories severely and just focus on the "greatest hits" of summer. Let's start with Comic Con.

This was my fourth year in a row at San Diego Comic Con. In previous years I was always there on some sort of panel, signing, promoting something- you name it. But this was my year off. In fact, I've taken great joy in NOT being at the conventions and festivals this year because I literally spent 2 straight years at ALL of them around the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a geek at heart and I truly love getting out there to meet the fans and promote whatever project it is I'm working on... but it's also nice to take a break from public appearances and come back swinging harder the next year. So about 6 months in advance the email went out through my group of friends saying "Who's going to Comic Con?" EVERYONE said they were skipping it this year. The traffic, the lines, the same old crap- who needs it. Cut to July 24th- and everyone I knew was down there. Including me.

And you know? I was right. It was the same old bullshit. Hours in line to sit in the back of a room and watch actors talk about the next season of their TV show, a dealer floor that resembled the worst flea market crap and prices I've ever seen, over priced food, the worst B.O. you can smell on human beings, and lots and lots of dorks like me. But you know what? Despite all all of that- after awhile I found myself able to shed the "work glasses" that I have become accustomed to seeing these conventions through and I was able to blend in and be a fan again. But no sooner had I been able to forget that I am any sort of "celebrity" in that world- that it came to bite me in the ass. Cut to the WRATH OF CON party at the Hard Rock...

This was a party hosted by the various horror websites such as Bloody-Disgusting and Anchor Bay which has become like a home away from home for me in the fact that I have about 400 different projects going with them at any given time. So to say I could let my guard down here and just have fun is an understatement. I knew everyone at this party and all of my friends were there. It was an exclusive list so there were no fans, no journalists scooping for info- just good, clean, social fun. Oh, and did I mention an open bar? Cool, cause this is where it gets interesting.

I approach the open bar and order a drink. A Bud Light, to be precise. As the bartender is cracking open the delicious ice cold watery goodness, I reached into my wallet and found that I did not have any one dollar bills. Now, to any normal human being, they probably would have just said "oh well" or (sad to say it, but) not even thought to tip in the first place since it was "free". All I had were 20's. I looked at the tip jar and it was EMPTY. (Welcome to the cheap asses that are the horror crowd, folks. I love them all- but they are cheap as fuck.) So I couldn't even ask the guy for change- which already would have been weird. "Here's a $20... can I um...have $19 back?" Ugh. So I did the typical generous Adam Green thing to do, and I just tipped the guy $20. Screw it, I can afford it, right? Besides, had I actually had to pay for the drinks- it would have been far more costly, so I felt completely justified. The guy looked at me and with great appreciation gave me a "thanks man, thank you so much". I was feeling good about myself and bad for him as this was clearly his first party serving drinks for horror 'celebrities' who are usually one step away from stealing the salt off the tables and using coupons for a buffet.

So I go and mingle with some friends and before I know it, it's time for another drink. I go up to the same bartender and ask for a Bud-Light. He gives me the nod (knowing I had already tipped him $20) and quickly hands me the beer. I nod back and walk away... only to hear the woman behind me declare: "THE ASSHOLE WHO DIRECTED HATCHET DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING TIP FOR HIS BEER!" I shit you not, WHISPERS went through the line! "You'd think he could afford to tip the bartender." "What a douchebag." "He must have spent all his money on drugs and contracted HIV." OK, maybe not the last accusation- but the point is, you'd think I just spit on the cross at the Christmas Day parade this line of people was so offended. So what did I do? In typical Adam Green/Larry David fashion I turned around and actually began to try and explain myself to these assholes.

"No, you don't understand. I'm actually a very good tipper. In fact, I'm an OVER TIPPER and my friends give me shit about it all the time. I didn't have any singles so I-"

She interrupted. "-So you should ask for change."

"No, no- there was no change in the little jar the last time I came through the line, so I gave him a 20."

She didn't believe me. "Sure you did."

"No, really! I gave him a 20. That's why he gave me the nod. Didn't you see him give me the nod? He gave me the nod."

I looked back to see that the bartender was now gone and had been replaced by someone new for the remainder of the night. There was no winning this. I briefly struggled with the thought of rummaging through the tip jar and finding my 20 at the bottom... but I knew that if 'Bartender 1' had any brains he would have pocketed that shit as soon as I walked away the first time in an effort to not have to share it with his co-workers at the end of the night. Plus, the last thing I needed was photographs of me dipping my hand into the tip jar and the way this night was going- it would have happened.

I was defeated and could do nothing but sulk away from the line of people talking smack about me while I enjoyed my 2nd of two $20 Bud Lights. Seriously, it ain't easy being Green. The lesson learned here? Next time you only have a $20 at the open bar? KEEP IT. And take as much free table salt as you can fit in your pockets before you leave. The horror crowd is on to something...

Before I get too far off subject, I do want to add that I am actually not exaggerating one bit about the cheapness of the horror community. It's a proven fact. We have a whole crew of us who go out together from time to time, and I've actually chosen to stop going all together if it involves eating. Now I just show up for drinks wherever they are going AFTER dinner. Why? Because I'm sick of ordering a cheeseburger and a beer and then having to throw in $100 because a few assholes skipped out on their bill. (Some of which have MILLIONS of dollars to their name and some of which have no business eating anything besides Top Ramen and shouldn't have come out to dinner in the first place.) Case and point, there was a lovely woman in our circle celebrating her birthday at a fairly nice restaurant at the end of August. I said "See ya at the after party around midnight, suckers." Sure enough, the first few people to walk in to the after party were LIVID that the bill had come up almost $1,000.00 SHORT. So let that be a lesson to you. If you ever find yourself dining with people who make a living working in the horror business... ask for a separate check. Call me an asshole, but I tell it like it is.

And that brings us to UK Fright Fest and the A-story of this blog. Fright Fest was a good time...

But the real story starts a year earlier. After 2 years in a row appearing there (HATCHET and SPIRAL both had their UK premieres at Fright Fest) I knew that it would be a bit before I had another horror film ready to contribute to the line-up. So in a selfless act of good will, last year (on stage) I declared that not only would I come back in 2008, but that I would return with a short film made exclusively for the Fright Fest audience. And in the cheers and clapping I also enlisted Joe Lynch and Neil Marshall who had no choice at that point but to say "Alright, woo-hoo!" Cut to Neil 9 months later "Dude, I live in the UK. How the fuck am I supposed to help out on this?" Buuut... we found a way to keep Neil involved as you will soon see.

Well, Lynch and I went to work brainstorming ideas and ultimately we came up with the concept of making Fright Fest promos to randomly play throughout the 5 days of the festival. We thought that would be more special for the festival than just making a short film that could be played and appreciated anywhere. To say making these shorts together was fun would do it no justice. It was literally one of the best times I've had all year and watching them surprise the UK horror fans in the theater each night was more gratifying than watching an actual movie I had made play before them. Though they were literally just meant as a "fun little gift" to Fright Fest- the promos wound up becoming one of the hits of this year's festival. Each time our "Douche Brothers" logo would randomly appear on screen, the audience would roar and Lynch and I would just say "holy shit". No joke, we came to the festival prepared to hear that Episode 1 got a weak reaction and we were going to PULL the remaining 4 Episodes from being shown. So it was with great relief that we got to the Odeon and heard that Episode 1 had brought the house down.

(Me, Joe, and Axelle Carolyn Marshall at Fright Fest)

Just a little more info before I post these here. The way these worked is that they played once a night before what was considered that day's "main event" film. (At Fright Fest EVERY film is a main event, but some sell more tickets than others.) These were never intended to be watched one after the other like you are about to do, so try to imagine a 24 hour break between episodes. Also, I realize I have a lot of readers on here who are NOT actually horror fans and for whom many of these jokes will fly completely over their heads. Again, understand that these were made with ONLY the Fright Fest crowd in mind. We initially weren't even planning on ever putting them on-line, but popular demand made it so. In fact, when we first put Episode 1 up on the ArieScope site, it was watched close to 14,000 times in the first 48 hours.

For those of you who are not horror geeks... I HIGHLY suggest you take the time to watch this classic film clip before you go any further. Any horror fan worth their machete knows this famous movie intro well... but if you have never seen it or don't remember it, re-watching this first will help you appreciate what Joe and I did:

Now sit back, clear the next 30 minutes of your schedule, and enjoy THE ROAD TO FRIGHT FEST by Adam Green and Joe Lynch...

EPISODE 1 "Horror Themes"

EPISODE 2 " Favorite Fright Fest Moments"

EPISODE 3 "Favorite Deaths"

EPISODE 4 "Favorite Directors"

EPISODE 5 "Adam & Joe Are Dead"

If you REALLY want to see what it was like to be at Fright Fest with the greatest audience in the world, you can click over to my website (www.ariescope.com) and watch EPISODE 5 with the LIVE AUDIENCE TRACK behind it. Quite the experience, and thanks Miss Sian for bootlegging it from the back of the theater, you sneaky girl.

Alright. What else do you want to know? Isn't that enough for one blog? Alright- how about some hints of what's to come over the next few weeks?

1. People keep writing to me asking if there is going to be a Halloween short film this year. Well, after 10 years of doing them- I decided that with the year I've already had and having already made the 5 Fright Fest shorts... OF COURSE I'm gonna make you all a Halloween short film this year! In fact... we start shooting in just 24 hours. It'll be done and available in time for Halloween, as always.

2. Have you guys heard about that XBOX project going on where some masters of horror were hired to create short comedy web series' for XBOX LIVE and MSN? James Gunn, James Wan, Marcus Nispel, David Slade, Lucky McKee, Andrew Douglas, John Clisham? Well I was recently invited to play and I can't fucking WAIT for you to see what I have in store for you all. More details very, very, very soon and THANK YOU to my friend James Gunn for extending the warm invitation. It's nothing less than an honor.

3. For those asking about the status of the other projects (God Only Knows and the sequel to that slasher movie I made) everything is GREAT. This year has been a bitch between my schedule and the fact that the industry was in the shitter with strikes for most of it- but I am happy to say that both projects are on track for next year. Sadly, until I know actual schedules and production details I still cannot say if I will be returning to the swamp with Victor Crowley... but I'm doing everything I can to make it possible. Regardless, in 2009 he's going to kick your asses again- and you can count on it.

Halloween is in the air! Can you feel it? More blogs and way more news to come. I promise I won't be a stranger for more than a few days before I'm back with more news.

Peace, love, and gore.

Adam

She should have gotten naked, but...

2008-09-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody,

I know, I know... I am long overdue for an update and a blog about what's been going on. It's coming, I swear. I'm just under some pretty heavy deadlines right now and working my ass off.

By now, hopefully most of you have heard that the short films that Joe Lynch and I made for London FrightFest are becoming available on line. Episode 1 is now up and the rest will follow EVERY Monday through early October. You can watch them at www.ariescope.com - but more on that in my NEXT blog.

For now, real quickly- I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be doing an in-store signing for a new book called THE BOOK OF LISTS: HORROR which features a collection of "Top 10 Lists" from folks like me, Stephen King, James Gunn, Ray Bradbury, Joe Lynch, Eli Roth, and more.

Just a heads up, my list is "The Top 10 Horror Movie Actresses That Should Have Gotten Naked, But Didn't..." Want to know who's on it? Well, order the book now on Amazon.com and find out! It's great bathroom reading, really.

You can meet me THIS coming Saturday, September 20th at Dark Delicacies Bookstore in Burbank, California at 2:00pm. I will be there signing with a whole group of authors from the book, including James Gunn, Victor Salva, and many more.

Of course, feel free to bring any of your HATCHET, SPIRAL, or other "Adam Green" stuff, too.

DARK DELICACIES BOOKSTORE
4213 W. Burbank
Burbank, CA 91505
1-888-DARKDEL

Major blog coming wicked soon.

-Green

LONDON CALLING (again)

2008-08-01T12:07:00.001-07:00

I will officially be appearing at this summer's FRIGHT FEST in the U.K.

For those unfamiliar with FRIGHT FEST, it is pure and simply the world's greatest all-horror film festival which runs from August 21st - 25th in London's Leicester Square at the West End Odeon. I've gone on record numerous times stating that FRIGHT FEST is my personal favorite of all of the genre film festivals out there and I am keeping good on my promise to the UK fans that I would return this year.

For tickets and info on FRIGHT FEST, click here: FRIGHT FEST WEBSITE

Most importantly to note is that this will most likely be my only personal appearance in 2008.

Now before I start getting a barrage of letters calling "bullshit" on the fact that I am an American filmmaker and yet I am only doing one appearance all year and it is in the U.K.... let me just say, I hear you. But I literally toured for almost 2 years straight in 2006 and 2007 supporting both HATCHET and SPIRAL. I appeared at every convention and festival that I could physically get to and my BLOOD AND BELTSANDERS tour took me to many different countries in the process. I had a blast doing it and I look forward to doing it again the next time I have a horror project about to be released. Many of you have written asking me to come to your local convention and many of the conventions have invited me to appear- and I SO GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT! However, I just can't possibly hit them all, especially during a year when I have so many new things cooking. I know how pissed I get when a band that I like doesn't tour for awhile and then they announce one show all year and it's in fucking Bulgaria - so I understand how some horror fans can get irritated. But please don't be mad. In fact, be HAPPY that I couldn't hit the conventions and festivals this year as that means I'll have new stuff for you sooner rather than later.

To the U.K. fans attending FRIGHT FEST, I will be there for the run of the festival and I will be around and available all weekend as I plan on watching every single movie that I can with you sick bastards. If you've got DVDs, posters, or anything else you want signed- bring them and feel free to walk right up and ask. Also be warned that even though I am not returning to FRIGHT FEST with a new finished film to screen for you... I am certainly not returning empty handed. There will be surprises galore- in fact Joe (WRONG TURN 2) Lynch and I have cooked up some fun stuff exclusively for YOU.

A few of you have also written asking if I will be unveiling anything from Paul Solet's GRACE which I produced this Spring. Hmmm... will I?

See you soon, London!

Oh...and one more thing! Do you guys remember the Dr. Zaius blog I posted a few weeks back? Well 20th Century Fox just announced a new PLANET OF THE APES: 40 YEAR EVOLUTION BLU-RAY COLLECTION which will be available in November.

If you look closely, you may recognize someone you know in the packaging...

Peace, love, and gore-
Adam

P.S. Austin's Fantastic Fest will be showing my short film THE TIFFANY PROBLEM on the big screen during their festival this September. If my schedule allows- I may add just one more appearance to the year. We'll see.

BECOMING DR. ZAIUS

2008-06-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

About 2 weeks ago I got a call from my friend Robert Pendergraft (one of the FX artists from HATCHET and the guy who was responsible for Mrs. Permatteo's glorious face-ripping death). He wanted me to come down to Make Up & Monsters and try on an old costume. As it turns out, Brian Penikas (the FX genius behind too many of your favorite movies to list and the owner of Make Up & Monsters) was involved with a super secret project that involved a photo-shoot recreating the characters from 1968's PLANET OF THE APES- in full detail and in the original costumes and molds worn by the cast.

Yeah, I know- RIGHT?

So the next thing I know I am trying on the original DR. ZAIUS costume worn by Maurice Evans 40 years ago... and it fit! Kinda surreal. Actually, to fully let my geek banner fly- it was fucking AMAZING!

Yesterday was the photo-shoot for FOX. Including short breaks for snacks (and for me to roll an obscene amount of business calls concerning other projects)- I was in the make-up chair for close to 5 hours before I was actually posing on the set...

(Gotta love the Chucks, right? What? Dr. Zaius didn't wear Converse?)

A huge thanks to FOX and to Brian, Rob, and Sonny from Make Up & Monsters for taking such good care of me and doing such an incredible job. And a HUGE extra bit of thanks to Rob for thinking of me for this and letting me come and play.

It's funny, but in the midst of what has been an extremely hectic week dealing with the trials and tribulations of this business and the bullshit that fuels this industry (note: see the photo above where I am having a troubling conversation with my agent and a producer while halfway through an Ape make-up appliance)... this project was a huge reminder of how lucky I actually am to be where I am. This was a surreal opportunity and not a second went by where I wasn't grateful for the experience and the chance to be a miniscule part of the PLANET OF THE APES world.

Forgetting the semantics and the business side of working in Hollywood... I love movies. And I have more respect for film and the people who came before me than some religious people may even have in their own Gods. The fact that I got to be made up in the actual costume worn by Maurice Evans in one of the most iconic roles and important films of the past century is nothing less than mind blowing for me.

Which is why it was so important to me that before the costume came off, I got to take this picture with Mr. Evan's make-up test photo shot in 1967...

Maurice Evans died in 1989. But yesterday, for a few hours at least, I got to bring Dr. Zaius back to life.

Hooray for Hollywood.

-Adam

Good Questions

2008-06-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Interview: Adam Green - the creator of Victor Crowley.
Posted in June 7th, 2008 by The Bludgeoner in Interviews

Ask me what I think of Adam Green I'll reply with two words - "fucking legend".

Adam Green is the creator & director of the insane horror film Hatchet and co-director of the very disturbing Spiral with one of Hatchet's stars David Joel Moore.

Adam Green was nice enough to take the time out of what seems like a very busy schedule to answer some questions in great detail and is even nice enough to repost this interview in his blog with a link to www.HorrorMovieFans.com!

Enough intro - check out this interview with the creator of Victor Crowley himself, Adam Green-

1. Victor Crowley, a legend from the beginning. What do you see for the future of this amazing character?

I purposely left a lot of information about Victor Crowley out of HATCHET as I always intended for there to be sequels and I wanted those sequels to actually propel his story. For instance… why is he deformed? Is he a ghost or did he never really die? Where was his mother growing up? What was up with that look he shared with Marybeth in the middle of him killing Shawn with the shovel? Do they know each other? There's a lot more to him that will be revealed, and I'm excited because it was all planned out from the very first draft.

When there is a HATCHET 2 or 3- they will be films that actually count. They won't just be "Victor Crowley kills new tourists". The first one was a tremendous success for Anchor Bay and we have been going back and forth for months trying to figure out how to best go about doing the sequel. Unfortunately, my schedule is now so jam-packed that in order to get HATCHET 2 completed and out there for the fans quickly enough- there's a chance I may have to pass the torch to someone else. Ideally I'd love to stick with the HATCHET series as it's mine and I love it dearly, but not if it means that I'd have to half-ass a film because I couldn't fully dedicate my life to it or do it the right way. HATCHET fans are extremely passionate and so many of them are personally attached to not only the characters, but the people behind the scenes who made it happen (thanks to that amazing UNRATED DVD package with all of those documentaries). I want those fans delivered to. I want everyone who loved and supported HATCHET to get what they deserve when the sequel happens. Not something that's thrown together with no soul because the title "HATCHET 2" alone will make some distribution companies richer. So if it's not me at the helm, you can bet it will be someone whom I personally think can deliver the goods.

In terms of tone, I went very heavy on the comedy the first time around as it was my way to set the film apart from generic slasher films and to try and inject some life into characters that are typically just a 'body count' in this genre. But as you could tell from the bleak and 'what the fuck?' ending of the first one… things are going to get a lot darker. If I write and direct the next one, you can bet my sense of humor will still be there in places- I mean, come on… we're dealing with a deformed madman who uses things like a gas powered belt-sander to kill people! But it's heading into a dark and twisted place, no doubt.

2. Which horror movie first got you into the genre?

I think the first one that my older brother ever showed me was FRIDAY THE 13th PART 2. But oddly enough, it was the films I sought out immediately after that one that really developed my love for the genre. For instance, John Carpenter's THE THING was a marvel of movie making that had me dissecting the actual production ("how did they do that?") and it really started whetting my appetite for potentially making a horror movie some day when I grew up.

It's the same for a lot of people my age. You start with the slasher films. But then the addiction kicks in of wanting to find a movie that will actually SCARE you and you search far and wide in the video store. It's like drugs- always trying to beat that first high. You search long and hard, you uncover a ton of turds, and then all of a sudden you find THE SHINING and you rejoice in the afterglow of shitting in your pants and you say "YES! That's what I was talking about!" Or you find THE EXORCIST and you are never the same. For me personally though, my holy grail or horror is still Carpenter's HALLOWEEN. One of the few flawless films ever made and it STILL stands the test of time. I know every word, I watch it several times a year, and it gets better every time.

3. What is your favorite horror movie kill?

Oh man, that's tough. John Buechler's "sleeping bag" kill in FRIDAY THE 13th PART 7 was always the reigning champ until they tried to re-hash it in JASON X and ruined it's cool factor for me. Check Russell's "human puppet controlled by veins" in NIGHTMARE 3 is an all-time classic, too. Most recently I really dug Joe Lynch's "body split in half" at the opening of WRONG TURN 2 and Ryan Schifrin's "face-bite off" in ABOMINABLE. Those are all deaths that make me want to cheer and they didn't rely on bad CGI to pull them off.

But is it bad if I also say "Mrs. Permatteo in HATCHET"? I mean, I could try and be cool and keep throwing out other movie kills- but I'm sorry. That whole one-shot head torn in half with no CGI is one of the coolest things I've ever seen done- even if it is in my own movie. It's one of the very first things I thought up for HATCHET back when I was just a little kid and to see it realized on the screen is just a boner-inducing experience every time. I could rip HATCHET to shreds around that scene- but for those 10 seconds at least, I am always at ease when watching the movie.

4. What is your favorite band?

That's even tougher. At this point, after 30 years of listening to music and going to concerts, I have narrowed it down to 5. TWISTED SISTER, METALLICA, AEROSMITH, MARILYN MANSON, and GUNS N' ROSES. But I will tell you this- I have never missed a MINISTRY show when they were anywhere nearby. It is a godly experience. Thankfully, last month's show here in Hollywood is supposed to be part of their "farewell tour". I sincerely hope that they don't ever come back because I don't know how much longer I can sustain the abuse. Every year I go and I say that I will hang towards the back and just watch…and every year I come home bloodied and bruised up for days.

5. At a concert - mosher or stadium seats?

I never really know. I actually prefer to be seated slightly far away from the stage so that it SOUNDS right. For instance, I've seen AEROSMITH in the front row a few times now, and as cool as it is to have Steven Tyler spitting all over you- you can hear Joey Kramer actually hitting his drums- and then the sound of his drums through the amps a split second later…and it's tough to follow.

I also like to be able to move from side to side of the stage. For instance if I am at a TWISTED SISTER show- there are songs I want to be on front of Mark Mendoza for (like when he beats the shit out of his bass on "Shoot 'Em Down") and songs that I want to be in front of J.J. and Eddie for (like "The Price").

I've seen MARILYN MANSON in the front row enough times to never have to do it again. It's just too much "bare dude ass" in the face for me. Now I try and hang towards the middle, especially when they launch into "Great Big White World" which is still one of the greatest live songs of all time. I've seen MANSON over 20 times now and that song still gets me right in the heart.

When it comes to moshing, I always say I am not going to do it. But much like MINISTRY shows- I don't keep my word. I went to GWAR last year and came home covered in purple shit and wearing only my jeans and one boot. I have no idea where the rest of my clothes went. All I know is that my girlfriend made me change outside before I could come in the house. Depending on the band, I can come home pretty beat up sometimes.

It's also gotten weird now that people tend to recognize me. At an AEROSMITH show, the chances of being seated next to a fan are slim to none. But at a GWAR show in Hollywood? It's not as easy to blend in and it can get annoying fast once the sweaty dude next to you is like "Holy shit! Are you the HATCHET dude?" I just say my name is Bob Balls and I have no idea what he is talking about.

Sometimes it works.

6. Favorite place or way to party?

I feel like I am away from home so much that when I do get time off I prefer to stay on the couch or just go to the movies 4 or 5 times a week. I invested in the most bad-ass home theater stuff they make and I put it to damn good use. To me, when I can shut off the phone and just watch movies alone with my girlfriend- I'm enormously content. Though I hate to admit it, I've even become quite the XBOX gamer and I've been known to spend up to 8 hours at a time on Halo with my friends. There's this whole circle of writers, actors, and directors who are on-line almost nightly- and no, I'm not giving out any gamer tags!

I know for some people it's a let down to hear, but I'm actually not much of a partier in terms of going out or drug intake. For my 30th birthday, I was given so many bottles of booze it was ridiculous. And 3 years later- almost every single one is still in my bar, un-opened. In fact, aside from the basics like having some drinks or the occasional smoke- I've never even tried any serious drugs. And I've had fans actually get HURT when they hear that. They're like "Say it isn't so! You're the guy who made HATCHET and you don't even do [insert drug here]?!" I've got 2 things to say to that. First of all, why do you care what I put in my body or not? And second of all, I never admired artists/musicians/directors/writers who tried to sell their drug use off as a defining thing that makes them "cool" or something that makes their work better. I've got a lot of young fans and if I can be appositive example- that's great. I don't knock it, I just chose not to do it. (And if I DID, I probably wouldn't celebrate it publicly or brag about it.) That being said- I've seen HATCHET with audiences that were completely stoned or drunk…and man is it fun. Our last night at Tribeca- there was a cloud of pot smoke over the line of kids waiting to get in. It was at that point where we all sorta knew the movie was working.

What's funniest about this subject is that we have this whole "Fright Club" of horror directors/actors/writers who hang out on a fairly regular basis. People are always like "Holy shit- I'd love to be invited to one of those parties- it must be crazy!" It's so not. We all meet up, go support whatever horror movie is out that weekend (even if we know it isn't good or if we have already seen it), and then…I don't know…play ROCK BAND? Don't get me wrong- it's not like we're completely straight-edge or anti-everything…it's just not a big part of our scene. (Or if it is…I'm too oblivious to know it.)

Though the parties and drugs may not be as glamorous as people like to assume, I will say that we horror filmmakers have some damn fine girlfriends/wives. How these beautiful girls wound up with such a motley crew of dudes is beyond me. And in every case, it was well before we ever had any success. I guess hot chicks just dig geeks.

When I'm touring and doing conventions or festivals- I'll make the best effort I can to go out, do it up, and hang-out all night. In fact, one time I remember being at a bar in Dallas and realizing I was sitting with 6 of the dudes who played "Jason". I wanted to tell the waitress but I assumed she wouldn't believe me. On the flight back from that convention I was sitting amongst all of the Jason's, some Hills have Eyes mutants, Elm Street victims, Victor Crowley, 2 Leatherfaces, Candyman, Freddy…it was surreal.

But at those weekend conventions- as soon as I feel uncomfortable or like I am getting cornered and interviewed by a fan- or even worse, solicited with their pitches or ideas- I flee. So remember that. If I wind up hanging with you and your buds at 4am at a horror convention drinking beers and telling stories- don't ruin it for everyone else by trying to hand me your screenplay or asking me personal questions about my girl.

Lastly, how's this for lame- I've probably hung out with James Gunn 4 or 5 of the weekends for the past 2 months. You're probably like "holy shit- that must be crazy! Green and Gunn!" But what do we do? Eat cheese, maybe drink some wine, and tell funny stories to whoever else is around that given night and isn't tired of listening to us yet.

When Dee Snider and I went 'out on the town' in San Diego at Comic-Con- we went out for ice cream. Have I ruined the dream enough for you all yet? This is fame, folks.

7. James Gunn - what a genius - what did you think of Slither?

SLITHER is one of my favorite movies of the 2000's and is America's biggest cinematic shame in the fact that so many horror fans didn't show up for it. Yeah, you guys will go see fucking PROM NIGHT or WHEN A STRANGER CALLS in droves- but something as massively entertaining as SLITHER or GRINDHOUSE and you "fans" are too busy standing in-line for the next remake to come out and support it.

When I do appearances I like to call "fans" out on their bullshit. I'll ask "who in this auditorium saw THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2?" and all of these hands will shoot up. Then I'll say "Who here supported BEHIND THE MASK when it was in theaters?" Not a hand will remain in the air- and it will be in a city where the movie was most certainly available and playing. They'll try and give me bullshit excuses like "There were no TV commercials" or "I didn't know"…you know what? For the majority of America- yes, you are right. Anchor Bay does not advertise their films like the major studios do- so yes, the average movie-goer does have an excuse. But if you paid over $100 for a ticket to a goddamn horror convention and you are sitting there in your "FULCI LIVES" T-shirt- you have no excuse that you "didn't know BEHIND THE MASK was out". You're either a poseur or a sell-out. Don't complain about the state of horror on your precious message boards if you're one of the ones contributing to what the studios are doing.

Guess what folks- they don't keep hitting you with PG13 remakes because they LIKE them. They keep making them instead of original R-rated horror because YOU keep supporting them. All they want is your money. The fans control what gets made. Remember that the next time you line-up for a cheesy remake that you know will suck. You're pulling the switch on the gas chamber of our genre.

8. I have to ask - what do you think of Platinum Dunes and their films?

Platinum Dunes are a good bunch of guys and I actually think they have made some really good films. Here's why I can say that- they don't pretend to be anything they are not. They openly admit that they are making their fortune on the remake craze and they are cashing in while they can- and I can respect that because they really do try and put a lot into their films. The TEXAS CHAINSAW REMAKE? I loved it. FRIDAY THE 13TH? I'm looking forward to it! I am not anti-remake at all. Where I draw the line is when the rest of us can't get a fucking original movie green-lit simply because it doesn't have a "pre-packaged title that fans will definitely pay to see" according to the studio's research.

The rejection I got from a major studio for the script for HATCHET that said "we love this, but unfortunately it will never get made because it's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one" sums it all up. In fact- I put it on the festival poster for HATCHET because I thought it was a great statement about the state of our genre and I thought that it was a great way for the movie to wink at itself and let the audience know in advance that it had a sense of humor.

But Platinum Dunes is trying and they do actually care about the movies they are putting out. Yes, so far it's all remakes- but at least they try and make them worth it which gives me faith that when they dive deeper into originals- they'll hit a few home runs. The bottom line is- because of all of the financial support the fans have given the remakes…they will continue to be made. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET? Sorry folks, it's getting made whether we like it or not. And if Platinum Dunes came to me tomorrow and asked me to do it- I would. I'd rather gamble on myself trying to do it justice than anyone else out there- and I know at Platinum Dunes it wouldn't be a heartless joke. They're gonna try to do the best they can. And don't lie- even if DREAD CENTRAL and AIN'T IT COOL and BLOODY-DISGUSTING all condemn it…even if you spend 20 hours a day on your message boards saying it's gonna suck…you're all gonna go see it.

9. What cartoons did you watch growing up?

I spent 90% of my time playing with my Star Wars toys when I was a kid. TV didn't do much for me. But I still love Tom & Jerry to this day. How awesome is it when Tom does that specific yell? You know, like when he burns himself or drops something heavy on his foot? But goddamn do I HATE it when they are friends! Whatever TV exec came up with that idea needs to be shot. It's like you're enjoying yourself some violent cat and mouse action, and then all of a sudden they're FRIENDS for an episode? Fuck off.

One of my favorites that few remember were the Mighty Heroes. It was a short cartoon that showed up during Mighty Mouse every so often. I had a punk band in the mid 90's called THE MIGHTY HEROES PART 2. We had songs like "Hairless Rats", "Stabbing At My Bleeding", and "Now I'm Naked."

10. Who is your favorite director (horror or non/horror)?

Steven Spielberg- hands down, across the board, no question. It may be cliché since he's pretty much everyone's favorite director in my age group, but the man is responsible for so much of who I am and the film's that shaped my life. Not only is he the man who made E.T. (my favorite movie of all time and the reason I make movies today) but he's also always presented himself as an honorable and tremendously good "soul". That's who and what I want to be.

Others who have hugely influenced me are Alfred Hitchcock (probably the most talented filmmaker of all time) and John Landis because he was able to cross genres and cross them WELL. If I could have the career that Landis has had and get to jump from comedy to horror to drama…I'd be one happy filmmaker.

Ideally I just want to make what I feel like making and never be put in a box where I can only be allowed to do one thing. That's why you've seen me be very careful with my projects. I followed up HATCHET immediately with SPIRAL- a night and day difference. My next film is a ROMANTIC COMEDY. Sorry folks- I gotta do what I want. There's plenty of more horror coming eventually though.

11. What is generally the most difficult part of a film shoot?

Getting to the point of shooting. Every movie has it's pitfalls on set, but if you can actually get to the point that you are standing there shooting your film and the coffee on set is hot…? You are one in a million. Even if you have a great script, a good track record of films behind you, and a name actor attached- you still have to jump through flaming hoops to get to the point of shooting.

The development process can feel as if you are walking through landmines. Here you have your vision and your goal- and then everyone just gets in your way and tries to put their own imprint on it or stop it from moving forward. It's like football. You have the ball and you run it into the end zone. Maybe you'll make it and score a touchdown, but chances are you'll take some major hits and get some unappealing bruises along the way in. Very few running backs get a flawless run from one end of the field to the other.

The major flaw in the system is that the "suits" who make the financial decisions are not filmmakers. They are people who went to business school and who got into their positions by answering enough phones for enough people to eventually get promoted to "development executive". I've met plenty who don't even LIKE movies anymore. And these are the people making the crucial calls in Hollywood!

If you can navigate all of that and still keep your vision somewhat in tact- you're in a great place. When it comes to the shoot- you just do the best you can with what you have. If you only have a few days to shoot and a little bit of money- embrace it and do what you can. To stand there and whine that you don't have enough time and money is just lame. You're getting the chance to make a movie, dude! Do what you can and try and enjoy the process!

The biggest hurdles and problems are all in getting the movie up and running. But no one talks about those issues. When you watch the special features on a DVD, they show you how they shot stuff…not the years and years of struggling to get it made. The meetings where nothing gets accomplished, the conference calls where 10 people talk over each other but say nothing, the deals where you get completely ripped off, the times that you were lied to and the movie never even got shot, different links in the chain that all lie to you about how much money they have actually made or spent, and the endless waiting for things to move. That's where the true frustration lies.

Or what about when the producers want you to direct a movie for them- but the studio executive says "no" because this movie is a comedy and your last movie was a horror movie. OK- so you're telling me I can pull off 7 hour shoot days, with no money, make-up FX, fire stunts, under water shots, boats, kids, animals, at night in a parking lot I turned into a swamp…see it through to win awards, get rave reviews, get a theatrical release…have it make a shit load on DVD…but that I couldn't possibly manage to direct a 10 million dollar movie where cute people say cute things in front of the camera? Oh no, that makes total sense.

Development is wicked hard.

12. Where is Adam Green heading for the future? Any new projects up your sleeve?

I just produced a horror film called GRACE that newcomer Paul Solet wrote and directed (in theaters in 2009), I am currently writing the animated AQUAMAN movie for D.C. Comics/Warner Brothers, and I am in pre-production on my romantic comedy GOD ONLY KNOWS which Chris Columbus' 1492 Pictures is producing with my company ArieScope Pictures.

As if that's not enough to kill me- I just finished a new horror screenplay that I can't talk about yet, I'm attaching myself to a really fucked up horror movie that I can't discuss yet, I am negotiating HATCHET 2 which I can't discuss yet, I'm working on a top secret horror project with some other horror heavy hitters, and I'm also doing some short films on the side for fun. One of which includes a full-on light saber fight between my girlfriend Rileah Vanderbilt ("Young Victor Crowley" in HATCHET) and Clare Grant ("Valerie" from VALERIE ON THE STAIRS). Hot.

So basically I'm heading to either the hospital or the asylum with a nervous breakdown. But this is how I like it. What was the name of the Ozzy album? NO REST FOR THE WICKED? Or was it NO MORE TEARS.

I'll take both.

A very big thanks to Adam Green for taking the time out to do this interview for HMF.com - it's most appreciated. You can check out Adam Green's most entertaining and informative blogs @ http://www.myspace.com/ariescope.

Good Karma and the Joys of Moose Jaw

2008-05-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Last month I was up in Canada where a movie I was producing (GRACE) was shooting. When I first got word that we would be shooting in Canada I was really excited as my stops for HATCHET in Montreal and Toronto were some of my best memories of my "Blood and Belt Sanders World Tour '07". But then they told me that we would be shooting in Regina (pronounced like "vagina"). Though my first reaction was to correct the person telling me this ("don't you mean...Regeena?") unfortunately for me and the few thousand people who live there...it is in fact pronounced like "vagina". So after numerous jokes with my friends about me shooting in 'Regina' I was on my way. I woke up early, got my bags all packed and even fully shaved my face for the first time in years. (I figured I'd try the clean shaven look, not to mention the fact that I was hoping with a fresh start- I would be able to make the whole shoot without having to shave once.) So with my face full of open cuts and painful slices... I kissed Rileah goodbye, gave the cats a solid patting, and left.

Now, I can't leave the house without bad shit happening to me. As many of you may remember reading in my various blogs about flying... it never goes like it should. Whether it's a little girl smacking me in the face repeatedly with her doll, a Hassidic Jewish boy vomiting profusely into clear ziplock freezer bags in the seat next to me, or hearing groans and having hand lotion shot all over my arm from the seat in front of me... me and flying just don't mix. But this time- the bad badness found me before I even got on the fucking plane. In fact- I wasn't even fully off of my front step.

It's important to note that I live in a nice section of Hollywood in a residential area by the entrance to a popular canyon/dog park. In almost 8 years of living in this area I have never once been hassled by a homeless person or been made to feel nervous by anything happening in the local vicinity. So you can only imagine the horror on my face when a man who looked like a cross between a USA For Africa commercial and Zelda from PET SEMETERY came charging up to me at full speed screaming "HELP ME, GOD!"

At this point in the story I would like to take the time to acknowledge my brave limo driver who not only dropped my luggage but actually did his Ben Johnson 40 yard dash back into the limo to hide and lock the doors. Thanks, man. I had it covered.

I look at this poor distraught man and thought "what the fuck do I do?" I assumed that by the way he was running and screaming that there must be something far worse coming behind him. Perhaps a robber? A serial killer? A team of rabid Nazi squirrels? No... it was way worse.

"Hello, Sir." He said through panted breathes. "My name is ______ and I am a homosexual man living with full blown AIDS." Instantly my heart went from fear to absolute agony for this poor man. He looked like a skeleton, he was sweating profusely, and his eyes were wide with terror. I asked him what he was running from and what was wrong. "As you can see..." and he turned around ... "I am bleeding profusely from the rectum and I need to get a prescription filled at Rite Aid immediately." Down the back of his pants- fresh blood had collected.

NO, I COULDN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

"Please, Sir- I need help! I'm going to die!"

So I asked him- "What do you need?" He held out a doctor's prescription for some pretty pricey medical suppositories. "I need enough money to cover this prescription. I live with my grandmother and she has left town and didn't leave me any money. I can't even get into the house."

Thankfully when I travel, I keep a lot of cash on me. So I took out my wallet and handed him what he needed. His desperation turned to relief and in his joy, he then grabbed me in a bear hug, jumped up and down, and yelled "thank you, oh God, thank you!" He pressed his face against mine, tears in his eyes.

Now, before I completely ruin this touching moment, let me just cut back in time about 25 minutes and remind you of the open cuts ALL OVER MY FACE AND NECK. Now I know the chances of getting any sort of disease through sweat/cuts/contact are pretty much slim to none... but that doesn't mean that I want to risk it. To be completely honest, I'm a fairly stand-off guy when it comes to physical affection from strangers. I don't like people I don't know touching me, hugging me, or kissing me. It's one thing when a female fan wants to hug me at an appearance, kiss me on the cheek, or pose for a picture with their arms around me... not a problem. But I'm not a huge fan of sweaty dudes dry humping me, whether it be at a horror convention or on the street in front of my house... let alone distraught, sweaty AIDS victims with blood all over themselves. For those that have met me at appearances or conventions, you'll notice that I even leave the bottle of anti-bacterial lotion right out there on the signing table. It's not because I think you're dirty... it's because if I have to shake a few hundred hands a day, fly on planes for long stretches, and stay in random hotels every night. I just don't want to get sick or pass it on to every fan who comes up for an autograph. It's just the sanitary thing to do.

So yeah... I sorta freaked out and politely pushed the man away. And of course... he took great offense.

"Sir, it's not like you can get AIDS from me hugging you!"

"No, that's not it!" I explained. "It's just that I'm not a big fan of strangers touching me- I'm weird like that. Just not a real affectionate guy. I didn't mean any offense!" But in my head I'm thinking: YOUR SWEAT IS NOW ALL OVER MY FACE, ARMS, AND NECK! DON'T YOU SEE THE HALF DOZEN OPEN WOUNDS ON MY SKIN YOU ASSHOLE!?

I apologized up and down and told him he didn't need to thank me. Just to take the money and go take care of himself and that I wished him luck.

He ran off down the street, holding the back of his pants, yelling: "You're a good man, Sir! Good karma is going to come to you!"

I got in the limo.

"Everything alright out there?" Said my brave driver.

"Thanks for fucking nothing, douchebag." I said.

He saw the vast amounts of sweat all over me. "Would you like... a towel?"

"YES. I'D LIKE A FUCKING TOWEL."

And I was off on my way to the airport.

On my way I texted Joe Lynch. "YEAH. SO. I PRETTY MUCH HAVE AIDS." He got on WebMD and this was his texted response: "IT SAYS THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT UNLESS YOU HAD AN OPEN CUT ON YOUR FACE OR SOMETHING."

Mint.

So I fly into Calgary where I am supposed to transfer to another flight into Regina. I wait through a 2 hour layover- desperately just wanting to get to my destination and shower/change my clothes. But when I finally go to board the plane, I am stopped by the attendant.

"Sorry sir, this flight is actually overbooked now and you won't have a seat on it. We'll get you out tomorrow morning at 7am, if that's OK with you."

OK?! NO- NO THAT IS NOT OK! CAN'T YOU SEE I HAVE FUCKING AIDS ON MY FACE YOU DUMB FUCKING FLIGHT PERSON!? HOW DO I NOT HAVE A SEAT BUT THE REST OF THESE PEOPLE DO?

I politely asked: "But... I really need to get there tonight. Why don't I have a seat?"

She responded: "Well this is just how we operate on Air Canada. Most flights are overbooked."

WELL THEN- AIR CANADA CAN EAT MY ASS.

I hung my head. I mean, what was I to expect? An easy, relaxing travel experience? Of course not. I got ready to find a hotel or to just suck it up and sit in the airport all night long.

But then...

"Sir... you can take my seat. I don't need to fly out tonight. I can wait until tomorrow." An old man stepped forward and INSISTED that I take his seat on the plane!

Karma had come to find me!!!!

I arrived in Regina where I was met by one of the local Producers. I was excited beyond belief to get to the hotel and take a shower. But apparently, I had forgotten that they didn't put me in a hotel for this show... they had rented me my own house. Sure, that sounds awesome- but only until the Producer said goodnight and left me there... alone.

That's when I discovered that this house had a basement. Now, I have very few rules in life, but one of them is FUCK BASEMENTS. Nothing "good" has ever happened in a basement. In fact, more often than not, basements are a breeding ground for evil and sin. I don't like them. Some people can appreciate a good basement- I am not one of them.

So I showered and went right to bed. Everything was going great until about 15 minutes later when I could hear the floor boards creaking throughout the house. I wrote about this in a previous blog- but I was pretty much convinced that the souls of dead children were climbing out of the evil basement and looking for me. After all- the only houses that get RENTED are houses that no one wants to live in because of "what happened" there... in the BASEMENT! I know some of you are thinking "but don't you make horror movies? " YES. And that's precisely why I am so good at scaring the living shit out of myself when left alone. Some day I'll tell you about the deformed old man who stands over my bed at night- or the time that my dead eight-year-old self jumped on me in the middle of the night... but this blog is already obscenely long and we still have to cover Moose Jaw.

The next morning I got up, having slept a total of 15 minutes and having lost my voice from screaming out "DAMN YOU TO HELL DEAD KIDS, YOU'LL NEVER GET ME!" all night long. I showed up for the production tech scout with black circles under my eyes and AIDS all over my face.

From that point on, the shoot was pretty much status quo. But then the production rolled into Moose Jaw.

Moose Jaw is sort of like a college town... with no college in it. The local crew that we worked with and the folks that we interacted with on a professional level were all great people. But on one of the nights off, we made the mistake of going out to celebrate some of the crew member's birthdays.

The first bar we went to was a kareoke bar. We sat down, ordered a few Canadian beers and sat back to enjoy the show. It was only then that we realized that the cast of singers all had some sort of disability. In fact, it was as if a special needs field trip had gotten lost and taken these people to a kareoke bar for the night. Singer after singer got up there with some sort of serious legitimate mental handicap or other personal issue. It was just... odd. Awesome for these singers that they were out and living it up- but just not what you typically see in a bar setting.

"Hey you!" I heard an old man speaking loudly. I assumed he couldn't be talking to me, I mean, I don't even know any old men in Moose Jaw.

"You there. In the Metallica shirt." Yep. He was definitely talking to me.

"You want to step outside and fight?" I looked back at him. he was 70.

I smiled, looked at my watched, and smiled again. "Nah. That's OK, thank you."

He looked at the rest of the crew sitting around me. "What about them? Anybody here want to fight?"

"Nah, man. They're good. But thank you." I said.

And he left. He wondered over to another table. And eventually... yes. He found another guy who obliged him outside in a fight. It was sorta sweet... in that Moose Jaw sorta way.

Before I could get invited to any more fights or watch any more of my favorite Celine Dion songs get raped on stage... my group and I left and went to a different bar.

This one was way classier and had much more happening. Like the knife fight on the street in front of the entrance. We made our way past that unscathed, but inside it was all of the worst nights of college drinking rolled into one bar. There was not a person in there that wasn't HAMMERED beyond HAMMERED. And I'm not talking about loud, obnoxious drunks or crying girls saying "am I fat?!" over and over again. I mean- fall down, piss drunk, 'where the fuck did my teeth go' sort of wasted. As we'd say in Boston: "These dudes were fahkin' COCKED, kid!" Within the next 20 minutes we saw FOUR other fights break out.

One of them was between a dude and himself.

He lost.

Cory (one of my producing partners at ArieScope) decided that he was going to stay behind and crash with one of the camera crew guys as (being from Montana) I think he actually felt a touch of home in that bar. He handed me the keys and told me to just drive back to Regina without him.

I said my goodbyes and got me the fuck out of there. I'd like to say that the night's weirdness was over- but it wasn't. I had to drive an hour back to Regina with two Serbian girls that our DP had picked up at church (??!?). Lovely women and quite funny- but once they learned that I had been with my girlfriend for several years they were outraged that I hadn't asked her to marry me yet. So I got chastised the whole way home and schooled on Serbian ways.

Mint.

I dropped off Team Serbia and finally found my creepy house with the evil basement. I had to piss so bad I could taste it, so I ran up the steps to the door.

Only then did I realize that Cory had only given me the car keys. There were no HOUSE KEYS on the key ring anymore. So I called him. And called him. And called him. It was 4am and he wasn't answering. So I pissed on the front lawn (take that Dead Kids!) and I went to find a hotel. I would have slept in the car- but it was -7 out and that just wasn't going to work.

$150 later, I was in a bed in a hotel room, shutting off the light and going to sleep. (How the fuck any hotel in Regina gets off charging a dude $150 for a room in a Comfort Inn at 5am on a Sunday morning- I don't know. But this guy did.) It was only then that I noticed the text from Cory. "DUDE. HOUSE KEYS ARE IN THE DOOR POCKET."

Fuck you, Cory.

I leave you all now with a collection of set web greetings that we did for a few of the horror websites while we were shooting. Enjoy and I hope that everyone's summers are off to a great start. Lots of news is coming soon but for now, I'm off to write a new movie for D.C. Comics/Warner Brothers about a certain Super Hero that lives in the sea. More on that in a few...

Scream bloody gore-
Adam

Going PSYCHO

2008-05-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

I'll be writing in soon with an all new blog about the production of GRACE and my colorful experiences living and working up in Regina and Moose Jaw, Canada...but in the meantime, I wanted to share a preview clip from the upcoming documentary THE PSYCHO LEGACY, an in-depth look into the films of the PSYCHO franchise featuring exclusive interviews with cast, crew, and other genre notables- like me!

My friends Rob G. and John Torrani from ICONS OF FRIGHT have been working on this documentary for the past year or so and they just previewed a special 12 minute clip at last month's Fangoria Weekend of Horrors in Los Angeles. Apparently it got a great response from the crowd (I wouldn't know...I was in Moose Jaw) and now you can all see what the fuss was about.

Enjoy- and keep an eye out for news of the documentary's release in the coming months.

Scream bloody gore-
Adam

It’s a girl! Dead kids and bad lasagna...

2008-05-04T16:22:00.001-07:00

It's a girl!
No, no, no- don't get excited. Rileah and I didn't have a baby and there is not one on the way. (Um...if there's something I don't know, Rileah...please don't leave it as a comment on here, OK? Just like...tell me when I get home?)

As it was announced in The Hollywood Reporter today, my company ARIESCOPE PICTURES will be producing the new horror film GRACE for first time writer/director Paul Solet. Without giving away too much, the movie is about a woman (played by CABIN FEVER's Jordan Ladd) who's baby tragically dies in the womb. When she decides to carry it to term anyway, the baby is actually born alive...and seriously disturbing creepiness ensues. You guys are gonna LOVE this one. And for all of the women out there who have given birth to dead babies and had them come back to life...this one's for you.

Before I go any further with this blog- I do want to invite you all to check out Paul Solet's MySpace page, located in my Top Friends. Give him an "add" and start watching and supporting as this extremely talented guy becomes a rising star.

Inevitably, I am going to get slammed with messages from hundreds of aspiring filmmakers asking me "why him and not me?" or thinking that I am the one who can get their project made. It would take hours to try and explain exactly how the process works and unfortunatey, hours are not something that I have. Not to mention the fact that I am by no means a 'film school' or Oz's man behind the curtain who can explain how it all works. But here's what I can tell you about this particular story:

I was at the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors 2006 while appearing to promote HATCHET. (We had just finished shooting it.) While I was there, a very close friend of mine (Spooky Dan) mentioned to me that he was heading in to the panel hall to see a short film called GRACE which he had done some visual FX for. Though I wanted to go in with him, I was very busy talking to horror fans and figured I could see it another time. Then I noticed more friends making their way in to the panel hall, including Eli Roth who was specifically only there to see GRACE and then get back to work. Turns out Eli was a childhood friend of Solet's and was kind enough to advise and inspire him through the making of the short film. But then I saw a guy walking around with a dead baby in his arms, also heading into the panel hall. It didn't take long to figure out that it was the director. I was in. What could ten minutes hurt, right? Needless to say, I loved it. I walked away thinking, "That kid's on his way! Awesome."

Cut to 3 months later, at another horror convention of far less stature. It was their first convention and sadly- the turnout was very, very low as there was no awareness. My director of Photography Will Barratt, Hatchet's composer Andy Garfield, star Joleigh Fioreavanti and I were bored at our autographing table. Actually, that's a lie. We were all staring at Laura Ortiz (from the HILLS HAVE EYES remake) and trying to figure out what a cute 12 year old girl was doing at a horror convention. She seemed to look just right for a comedy that I am directing soon, so I went up to find out what her deal is. When I got back to the HATCHET table...Will asked me if I had seen the weird guy with the dead baby passing out fliers for his short film. In less than a minute I had him convinced to go check out GRACE. He did. He loved it. Cut ahead one month later to yet ANOTHER horror convention- this time on the East Coast. I was talking to my friends from ICONS OF FRIGHT and one of them was mentioning how he had done some make-up FX work on a cool short film. "What short film?" I asked. "It was called GRACE." I mentioned how much I enjoyed it and within seconds- they had handed me a DVD of the short and the director's contact info. They couldn't say enough about the feature length version screenplay and insisted that I check it out as I would love it. I watched it yet again, but this time there was a special "making of" where I could really watch Solet work and see who the guy really was. As I base all of my decisions with my own projects- I only work with people that I want to hang out and be friends with. And this dude fit the bill. So I caved and I asked Solet to send me his screenplay.

I'm not going to lie, I had someone else at ArieScope (Jason, who covers everything first) read the script. He loved it and his coverage was glowing. Finally, I read it. And well- a year and a half later...here we are just 4 days away from principal photography. ArieScope brought the project to our friends at Anchor Bay. They got behind it and brought on Leomax Pictures as co-financeers...and together we are all giving birth to baby GRACE.

Taking all of the fateful coincidences out of the picture- what Paul did right is that he had a feature screenplay that he believed in. Rather than blindly submitting it around (because he thought it was great and he wanted to make it) and getting passed on, he started to put a package together and he EARNED each step along the way. He had a compelling short film that was essentially his first act condensed into 4 minutes. It was a short that left you wanting to see more. The short was accepted to DOZENS of film festivals, won awards, garnered critical acclaim, and eventually- the eye of people who were in a position to try and help make it happen. He did all of the conventions and he did the festival circuit...wandering around with a dead baby in his arms passing out fliers and asking folks politey to give his film a watch. So when you ask "how did he do it"...that's the VERY short story of how he spent the past 4 years trying to get his film made. And as everyone who reads these blogs knows- nothing impresses me more than artists who have CLASS and the drive to do it themselves rather than waiting for a hand-out or wasting time bitching about how the system is "unfair" and Hollywood only makes crap. While I am glad to have been able to use what clout I may have to help get the film taken seriously and financed- it is Paul Solet who did the hard work and who is the one who is going to make an amazing movie. Because if he doesn't...Victor Crowley will cut his head off. No pressure.

Before you write to me asking for advice, I recommend a book called THE WRITER'S GUIDE TO PRODUCERS, DIRECTORS, AND SCREENWRTER'S AGENTS by Skip Press. It is fairly dated now, but it is the first book I ever found that truly details the ins and outs of submitting your material the appropriate way- both legally and professionally. Hell, it even lists some real contact info at the end of it. So before you say "that's bullshit that no one will read my stuff"...read up on WHY they won't. Then figure out your way around it.

Anyway- three cheers for Paul Solet- another little guy who made it happen and who deserves everything he has coming his way. You should see what a pro he is and how much his crew already adores him. I wish there was a word stronger than "proud", because that's what I am. And I'm honored to be a part of it. So, all of that being said...here I am in Regina, Canada (which is pronounced like "Vagina" and makes me giggle.) Though the people are wonderful- the food is...not so much. Last night I got some lasagna and it was simply noodles, tomato sauce, and melted slices of Kraft American cheese on top. Thank God for peanut butter and jelly and Cocoa Pebbles. I'm sure I'll be full of observations about Canada and the towns of Moose Jaw and Regina by the time I leave...but for now let me just tell you about the house I am living in up here...

I am staying in an older house by myself. It's a terrific house and I'm very happy to be here. However, I watch way too many horror movies and it's finally hit the point of scaring me. (Thanks a lot, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.) My first night here, I shut off the lights and then started hearing creaking and banging in the house. Now, during the daytime it would easily be dismissed as the house settling or the heat turning on. But at night, alone? It could be nothing else but the ghosts of dead children who were murdered in the basement coming up the stairs to get me. I mean, after all...what am I, stupid? Do you not think I realize that a beautiful house like this does not get "rented out" unless people are afraid to live in it because of "what happened"? Sorry folks, but I'm smarter than that and there was no way I was going to let "them" get me. Those silly Reginians tried setting me up as a sacrifice to the ghosts of the dead children! Not this time, buddy!

So I sat up in bed and yelled out "I know you are out there dead children! And I'll have you know that not only am I not scared of you- but that the power of Christ compels you!" (I've seen enough horror movies to know how to stop this sort of shit.) And that's how I spent my entire night. Not sleeping- but shouting insults at the evil out-of-body entities that were trying to snatch my soul in my sleep. "That's right..you! In the closet! I can see you! You're not sneaking up on anyone, Pal!" Stupid dead kids and their spooky antics. I was tired the next day having not slept a wink. But I am alive. Goddamnit, I am alive. And those creepy dead fuckers haven't gotten me yet. I think I have it under control- but if someone could please summon TAPS...I could use their services up here in Regina. (Heh-heh..."Regina"!)

There's many more Canadian experiences to share and TONS of news on upcoming projects coming real, real soon. So check back often. And in the meantime- I'm off to research about the Indian burial ground underneath my house. There were Indians in Regina, right? Weren't they the "Brave Regina's"? (Haha!)

Love to you all-
Green